For the past
two days, I’ve been laying around on the beach, eating too much food, and
engaging in spirited conversations about everything from the financial woes of
Detroit to the killing power of Kryptonite. So, today, on Day Three of
#Dunnevant Beach13, I will be driving my car onto a ferry, making the trip to
Ocracoke Island so I can…lay around on the beach eating too much food, variety
being the spice of life, or so I’m told.
It must be reported at this point that seven of us
went to play putt-putt last night. The winning score of 44 was posted by your
humble blogger, naturally, while the high score of 68 was tallied by my wife
who simply could not master the contours of the dimly lit greens while simultaneously
looking fabulous. Ryan’s front nine score of 38 set some sort of course record
for futility that caused buzzers to go off, sirens to wail and several
paramedics to appear to make sure he was ok.
All was not lighthearted fun however; as I
discovered that my future son in law is not above cooking the books to
embellish the standing of his girlfriend. After one particularly problematic
hole in which Kaitlin managed to hit her ball onto the back of a nearby pickup
truck, then into a water hazard, I saw Jon write down her score on the
scorecard, smile adoringly at her with the words, “Nice 3 honey!”
We got back to the house just in time to hear Linda
tell the story of the day when the hurricane came through Richmond and knocked
out power to the hospital. The generator was deployed to maintain critical life
saving equipment, so each patient room was reduced to one light. This was unacceptable
to one expectant grandmother who marched down the hall wanting to know what in
the $#@&? was the matter with the television?! The head nurse explained
that the hurricane had knocked out the power. “I don’t give a flying rat’s
#$@!? about no %$#@&* hurricane. Rick is about to come out of he coma and
stop that lying Camille from stealing he inheritance from that thievin’ Brooke
who claim she had the amnesia but everybody know that’s a $#%@* lie. Now you
people need to power up this here TV are I’m gonna have to open up a can of
whup-ass up in here.”
More popcorn, Bill.
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