Monday, March 2, 2015

It's Home Improvement Time!!


March. I feel better just typing that. If it’s March, then there’s hope. In February, you’re screwed from beginning to end. It’s all winter, all the time. With March, there’s the hint of spring, the suggestion of warmth, the promise of a thaw.

For us this means doing something about the landscaping in our yard. When you spend the last seven years of your life putting your children through private, out of state colleges, there isn’t much money left over for home improvement projects. So when hurricane Isabelle came through and laid waste to the shrubbery several years ago, I was forced to tear the rest of it out and place “new landscaping” on the  “things to do when we’re no longer poor” list. Our post-modern minimalist look has worn thin on Pam who insists on nothing less than a full-blown landscaping make-over. This means venturing into our back yard, or as it has come to be known…the swamp that time forgot.

To that end, I began contacting landscaping contractors in the area a while back and finally settled on one who was young, credentialed, and didn’t reek of fertilizer. He came over and inspected the grounds, jotting notes into his tablet computer as we walked. When he sent us his proposal a week later, it came complete with drawings, a written description, and a five figure price tag. On the bright side, the cost was less than one semester’s tuition at Belmont, so I’ve got that going for me. Everything must be placed in perspective in life. After all, it’s only money, then you die.

So, I’m already over the cost. I’ve moved on to visualizing myself back there grilling steaks on my new stone patio, watching Lucy running across the new turf grass, frolicking amongst the shrub-lined fence, all splashed in sunshine thanks to the removal of several light blocking trees. Lucy will be over her digging fetish since she will no longer be a puppy (…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). It will be like Eden before the fall. Well, except we will be fully clothed…for the most part.
Once the landscaping project is finished, I’m told that there will be painting projects and interior design schemes to launch. Before this year is done, I will be recalling the years of writing obscene tuition checks as the good old days.