Monday, July 8, 2013

"This Time We'll Keep it in Our Pants!"

Just how far has the dignity of public service fallen? Consider New York City. The citizens of that fine city will have quite the entertaining ballot in front of them as they enter the polling booth this fall.

Running for mayor will be Anthony Weiner, the recently disgraced former Congressman, who shrunk from public life after admitting that he had exposed himself to young women on the internet. Despite the existence of several disgusting photos of his manhood in circulation, and a mere 18 months since his disgrace, there he is atop the polls.

This morning brings news that Elliot Spitzer has thrown his hat into the ring for the job of Comptroller. You remember Spitzer, right? He was governor of New York when he was caught up in a Prostitution sting by the FBI. It was revealed during the proceedings that “client number 9” was in fact the governor himself, that mysterious customer who oddly insisted upon wearing nothing but his black dress socks during sex …THAT Elliot Spitzer. Well, a mere five years have passed and apparently, that’s enough in New York. There he is, the instant frontrunner, asking to be trusted with the city’s finances.

Who will he be running against, you may be asking? Well, in a twist dripping with more irony than Mark Antony’s funeral speech in Julius Caesar, Kristin Davis will be giving him a run for his money. Who is Kristin Davis, you ask? Wait for it….. the Madam who ran the high priced call girl ring that provided Spitzer with his prostitutes! I am not making this up, I swear.

What a ticket! The new wave of Democratic party leaders for the 21st century. Try coming up with a slogan for these two…”This Time, We’ll Keep it in Our Pants!”, or, “Weiner and Spitzer, Thrusting Forward For Change”.

Some may not see this as an embarrassment for democracy like I do. Some may see this as some grand example of grace and redemption, two talented (and reliably liberal) public servants overcoming the transgressions in their past, rising like a strike the “rising”, overcoming and atoning for past sins by recommitting themselves to fighting for justice. Reasonable people can disagree, I suppose.


Meanwhile, Paula Dean can’t be forgiven for using the “n” word in a 14 year old legal deposition.