The Month of May

May has arrived and I couldn’t be happier. For me this month represents several important things, all of them good. First of all, its the month when my work load begins to lighten. Through the first four months of the year I will have conducted 60 client reviews and everything that goes along with that responsibility. No, its not splitting the atom difficult or stonemason hard, but its no walk in the park either, especially during a time of stock market volatility. In May that tight coil in my stomach begins to contract a bit and I am grateful for the relief.

But in my family May is something else. Its the month of celebration. My daughter was born on the 11th. Thirty eight years ago on the 19th, I married her mother. My son was born on the 25th. Three of the greatest days of my life, crammed into two short weeks. As a bonus there’s Mother’s Day and Memorial Day. The weather becomes dependably warm in May allowing us to set out plants and vegetables. May marks the renewal of hostilities between myself and the squirrel population of Wythe Trace, an event marked with great pageantry in my backyard, and the sight of Jamie gathering her kids close next door…Be careful, kids. Mister Doug is at it with the squirrels again!!

The baseball season kicks into high gear during the month of May. The flashes in the pan of April get exposed and we find out who can play and who can’t. The 2022 season will for me be a long one, with my Red Sox looking to be the fourth best team in their division, while my Nationals will be competing with the Reds and Orioles for the coveted title of Major League baseball’s worst team. But sometimes being the fan of a bad team has its own rewards—the camaraderie of misery.

May is also the month where I begin referring to my escape to Maine being, just around the corner. By May the first I’ve paid both halves of the rent, I’ve booked the kayaks and I start sending giddy texts to Tif at On The Water In Maine, warning her of our impending arrival. She tries her best to calm me down, Geez Doug, its eight weeks from now!! Settle down, cowboy!”

Mother’s Day is hard for me. Ever since Mom passed away ten years ago, the day brings a touch of melancholy…after ten years. 

Memorial Day is nice in that it heralds the beginning of summer.

So, yeah, the month of May is a delightful one around here with much to look forward to.

What’s in it for you?

College Loan Forgiveness

Here are just a few random thoughts banging around in my head on this Friday morning:

Worried about the stock market? Its like my proctologist told me last week, “This too shall pass.”

I’ve been hearing a lot about college loan forgiveness lately. It’s a very complicated issue the results of which could have some positive and some negative effects. But whenever this issue comes up I think about the 20 year old prospective lobsterman in Maine. Stay with me!

For some reason, many young men from Maine aspire to one day become lobstermen, owning their own boat and everything, despite it being one of the most physically demanding and dangerous jobs in America. But the State of Maine makes it extremely difficult to do. First, the kid has to enter a two year apprenticeship, providing evidence of a minimum of 1,000 hours of work therein. Then he has to be sponsored by an existing lobsterman, then he has to submit a lengthy and costly application, after which he must wait—sometimes years—before being granted a license. But to make serious money as a lobsterman, you really need to have your own boat, an even costlier obstacle. But even after buying the boat, becoming a successful lobsterman will require a lifetime of grueling work. Those who make it through this gauntlet of training and bureaucracy can make a six figure income—a rarity in Maine. Those who are unfortunate enough to get injured lose everything. So…what does this have to do with forgiving college debt?

Are there any plans in Washington to forgive the $80,000 loan this 20 year old kid from Maine took out to buy that lobster boat? Why not? Is the profession of lobsterman not as valuable to Americans than that of investment banker, lawyer, architect, physician, teacher, salesman?

I fully acknowledge the fact that the cost of a college education has gone up to ridiculous heights over the years, partly because we have convinced millions of high school kids that anything short of a college education will render them unemployable, but mostly because universities are governed as much by greed as any other giant business. I also fully acknowledge that predatory lending practices in the college tuition space have been epidemic and shameful. Additionally, it is a huge problem for our economy that an entire generation have found themselves burdened with college debt to the point where they have opted out of the consumerism that is vital for our continued economic vitality. So, I am open to some form of relief. However, I find it particularly galling that the same government which helped CREATE the problem by making cheap loans available to practically anyone who could fog a mirror are now stepping in to fix the problem they were instrumental in creating!

Then there is the issue of fairness. My understanding of the plan being proposed by Senators Sanders and Warren are that the loan forgiveness will be blankit and NOT means tested which current forgiveness and forbearance plans are. That struggling teacher with $50,000 of college debt making $45,000 a year will get her loan forgiven—-but so will that young podiatrist making $200,000 with $100,000 worth of debt. In addition, the fact of the matter is that this debt forgiveness plan will go down in history as one of the biggest tax-payer giveaways to upper middle class white people since the mortgage interest deduction! The vast majority of the beneficiaries of this largesse will be white kids from suburbia. Once its done, what possible objection can anyone make to whatever reparation package gets introduced for African Americans? I can hear old Al Sharpton now, “So you guys were more than happy to bail out all the white kids with college loans but nobody wants to hand out $50,000 payments to black folks??”

Which brings me back to my lobsterman. What about him and people like him, men and women who decided against college in favor of a trade? Kids who decided to become electricians, plumbers, carpenters, roofers, truck drivers and…lobstermen? Did none of them have to take on debt?

I am not persuaded that blanket debt forgiveness is the answer. I would prefer targeted relief for those most hamstrung by the debt load, using some formula of amount of debt in relation to income etc..As far as those parents like me who financed our kids education? What about us? That’s in the past. There’s nothing that can be done about that. To resent the fact that this relief came too late to help me is both foolish and petty.

Blanket debt relief sets up an already overdrawn government as the savior, the Santa Claus of last resort. It also pays off the debts of both the wise and the foolish, that plucky kid from the projects desperate for a better life along with the entitled and pampered kid from Connecticut who spent $150,000 getting a French Poetry degree and partying like a rock star for six glorious years.

What could possibly go wrong?

Administrative Assistant Day

Today is Administrative Assistant Day, or rather yesterday was. Luckily for me, the estimable Kristin Reihl was off yesterday since I naturally forgot. For the past eight or nine years (maybe ten), it has been Kristin’s job to see to it that I not forget stuff. No one in America has more job security than Kristin Reihl. A few observations are in order.

Kristin is very much a no nonsense, self-starting, blunt instrument kind of person. Never will she use long flowery sentences when telling me of one of my many mistakes when a simple, “You’re dumb” will suffice. Others will know her as the fiery red head unofficial mayor of Ashland, but around here she is known as the woman who keeps Dunnevant out of jail.

Over the years I have noticed something kinda creepy about her though. Although Kristin and Pam are so different in so many ways, there is an almost cosmic connection between the two when it comes to an alarming number of things. I will start describing something I did or plan to do and she will flash me one of her famous eye rolls and blurt out almost the exact words that Pam blurted out when I described it to her the previous day! In other words, when it comes to my sketchy ideas, the two of them form a monolithic alliance in opposition to me! Its almost like a conspiracy, if I must say so. It goes something like this:

Me: So, I decided to cut the grass, then go for a four mile run on the hottest day of the year yesterday.

Pam: You are an idiot.

Kristin: You are a f***ing idiot

But, aside from this annoyance, Kristin has proven her worth to me a thousand times over since the day I hired her. Pam lives in constant fear that one day Kristin will decide to quit. So do I.

Seriously, it is a rare thing to have an employee who turns out to be a dear and trusted friend. Lucky me.

Order

Spend four days helping your kids move into their new house and you learn some things about yourself. For me it was this…I had no idea how much I crave order.

The process of purchasing a home, then moving clear across town from an old apartment to a new place is one of the most stressful things any couple has to go through, especially when you are first timers. My kids handled it beautifully, at least on the outside. They were level headed and composed throughout. One thing that helped in this regard was the absolutely gorgeous Chamber of Commerce weather we enjoyed all weekend long. Delightful breezes, sunny skies and perfect temperatures made all the traipsing up and down stairs much easier than it would have been if it were 90 degrees and humid. But, its a grind, man. The older I get the less able I am to deal with the never ending parade of…stuff…and the boxes that come with it. As of this hour, only one of the 16 million of them has gone missing, one filled with valuable electronics—naturally. I have no doubt that it will turn up eventually. 

We have gotten a couple of pictures from them showing us their organizational progress, here a recognizable office has taken shape, there a tidy bedroom. They are plugging along.

It was only after the nine hour drive home when I walked into my own house that I noticed it…the palpable relief I felt when each room I entered was perfectly in order with no boxes in sight, no evidence of transition anywhere, everything settled. That, and the wildly enthusiastic greeting I received from Lucy, settled my mind and soul. Perhaps you don’t realize how much you value order until you experience its absence for four days. Although the routine of my life may not always be perfectly ordered, disruptions being as dependable as the tides, at least my house is, something that I have now discovered is vital to my sense of well being.

Another thing I have discovered? I am no longer capable of doing 100% of the driving on our many long car trips. Cramping hamstrings combined with sleepiness forced me to relinquish the wheel for a couple hours both ways. Grrrr…

And now this…a friend of ours who has been valiantly fighting an illness has made the decision to call in hospice. We have watched his noble battle via Facebook for quite a while and have marveled at his bravery. He fought the good fight. May God bless him and his family.

Proof of Life

I’m sitting alone in the lobby of the Hampton Inn, choking down really bad coffee, trying to psych myself up for a 9 hour drive back home. My body is a collection of sore, aching joints and unidentifiable pains brought on by three days and nights of loading and unloading, packing and unpacking, and lots of yard work. In addition, a dozen 35-40 minute commutes from southwest Nashville to northwest of Nashville, has taken a toll on the nerves. Nevertheless, it was a productive weekend. The kids are all moved in to their lovely new house. Now the really hard part comes as they must sort through the rooms filled with boxes, and transform the place into a home. At some point, pictures will follow. For the moment, this short dispatch will have to serve as evidence that Pam and I survived and are on our way home to Short Pump.

News of the Ordinary

I haven’t posted much here of late, at least compared to my normal output, not because there hasn’t been anything to write about but rather because I have been distracted by other pursuits. Business has been brisk, and the novel I’ve been working on for nearly two years now has been pouring out of my head in torrents after having been reduced to a trickle for months. Last night I wrote a lot because Pam was at a meeting with friends, leaving me on my own for dinner. Since I didn’t feel like going out anywhere I opened the fridge and threw some things together…

There was ham left over from Easter dinner. Accordingly, I opted for a ham sandwich on a toasted English muffin with cheese. To this I added three left over deviled eggs and a helping of Fritos. To round out the meal I decided on heating up three flour tortillas, spreading peanut butter and marshmallow fluff meticulously throughout and rolling them up to resemble cigars…for dessert, washing it all down with a Stone IPA. I’m not sure where this meal would have landed on the food pyramid, or whether of not there was any nutritional value involved, but it was delightful.

What was not delightful was what greeted me this morning on the Drudge Report:

These are the news stories deemed of most interest by this famous aggregator. Take a close look. Not a word about the ongoing war in Ukraine, but everything you could possibly want to know about a washed up actor’s defamation trial. There’s a breathless update about the British Prime Minister’s latest troubles, and the disturbing news that Prince Harry has decided that what America needs is the most pampered and entitled refugee in history. 

It is easy to look at this and come to the conclusion that you live in the most unserious nation on Earth. But the truth is that the vast majority of my fellow citizens never read the Drudge Report. Although more of them know who Johnny Depp is than can name their Senators, the fact is that most of us are not the deranged narcissists that social media tells us we are. We are busy working, raising our families, volunteering our time, buying groceries, bringing all the plants inside the garage to protect them from a late frost, and helping our grown kids move into their first house. But can you imagine how boring it would be to pull up a news aggregator site with those stories splashed across the headlines?

Happy Easter

It would be very difficult around my house to escape the fact that today is Easter Sunday…

He is Risen…