The Glorious Return of Sunday Lunch Bunch

I begin this week celebrating the two week anniversary of Bad Back 2021. Sunday morning at 4:00am I woke up with delightful spasms that sent me to Patient First for a consult with an enormous doctor who had to be at least 6’5” and not a pound lighter than 280. He laid his substantial hands on my back and said, “Oh my, that’s gotta hurt.” Turns out that the big guy was very familiar with back pain, having endured plenty from an old football injury. As I tried to describe my issues, he finished all my sentences for me. It’s nice to be understood. I am now on muscle relaxers, some mild pain medication, and have employed anti-inflammatory patches, none of which work when you have just woken up in the morning. Took my first does of the day fifteen minutes ago and am now awaiting relief.

Despite yesterday morning’s unpleasantness, I made it to church yesterday in person for the first time since before Thanksgiving. It had been a combination of travel, the holidays, post holiday caution, crappy weather and frankly...inertia that had kept us away. It was time. It’s been a year now since all this started. Warmth is in the forecast. Winter will soon be in the rear view mirror. No more sofa-church. Being in the building felt like homecoming. Afterwards, we even got the old Sunday Lunch Bunch band back together. We made a reservation at Anokha. Everyone was there except for Leigh Anne Fort, who was visiting her sister. The fact that Gordon agreed to come without her tells you something about how hungry we all are for human interaction and anything that feels like normalcy. It was Pam and me, my sister Paula and her husband Ron, their son Ryan, and Gordon. We took a picture and sent it to Leigh Anne...

Just like in the old days, I got the Tandoori platter with extra sauce on the side, and hogged all the naan. I am a slave to old habits.

Check out my nephew Ryan. I have watched this kid grow up from an annoying little crumb-snatcher, to an obnoxious middle schooler, through the know-it-all high school and college days. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I look up and he’s this incredibly handsome, smart, hard-working...uh...man. What the heck happened? Its becoming more difficult to refer to him by my preferred name...knucklehead. I have called him this for 20 years now. But as I sat across from him yesterday it occurred to me that he is anything but. That doesn’t mean that I am ready to retire “knucklehead”. I am his uncle which comes with certain rights and privileges, among them, the assignment of nicknames. But Ryan has navigated the first stages of his adult life during a pandemic with great skill. He has a good job, good friends, and one day is going to make some very lucky girl one heck of a fine husband. Respect. 

So, Ryan, if you’re reading this, have a good week....knucklehead!!

Time For Some Dreaming

Now that March has arrived, its officially time to start the mental preparations for...Maine. That’s right, in exactly 116 days we will be heading out for five glorious weeks on fabulous Quantabacook Lake in Searsmont, Me. This summer, thanks to COVID, it was far more difficult to find accommodations since so many cabin owners are staying put, making fewer spots available to outsiders, especially month-hogs like us. So we will be spending the first two weeks on the east bank of the lake in a place called Summer Dreams, a mere six cabins north of the greatest lake house in all of human history, Loon Landing. Then we will pack everything up and move a little further north, spending our next three weeks on the West Bank of the lake for the first time ever. The following two maps show the different locations and their relationship to each other...

Summer Dreams is a charming little place that sits right on the edge of the lake. It is the smaller of the two cabins, with only two bedrooms. 

Meal time seems guaranteed to be amazing...

Like I said, a little snug, but plenty big for our needs.

The second week we needed a bigger place for our kids and possible other guests who might pop in for a visit. Our first West Bank experience will be in the unimaginatively named—Quantabacook Lake House:

Despite the pedestrian name, this place has its own charms...

I can see myself drinking some coffee at this table in the morning...

Having this room filled with some of my favorite people in the world will do quite nicely...

Just in case you’re wondering, these images will be on my mind every spare moment I get for the next three months. One of these days, we will have a place of our own. When that day arrives I will be one happy man.

Dunnevant’s Theory of Good Government

I’m going to go out on a limb here by reducing the entire history of civilization down to what I believe are its core foundational elements. I know, I know...sounds like a real yawner, right? I will do my best to be both brief, and interesting. Here’s my theory:

The two key elements required for a flourishing society, the two things upon which successful, cooperative civilizations are built are—

- The Rule of Law

- Personal Freedom

There are others, sure, but without these two, all is lost. To the extent that governments honor these two foundation principles, they enjoy relative peace and prosperity. To the extent they discard them, chaos and death soon follow. How so?

1. When the rule of law becomes arbitrary, circumstantial, or ignored altogether, and if the “rules” ignore popular will, you're in for trouble. The making of law must always be done with what the Founders referred to as the consent of the governed. Also, when the rule of law is applied to some but not others, you’re in for even more trouble. The human instinct for justice, granted I believe by our creator, is a powerful force and cannot long be trampled upon.

2. When personal freedom morphs into complete and total personal autonomy, disaster will inevitably follow. No one in a functioning society can be granted absolute freedom. I don’t have the freedom to burst through my neighbor’s front door with an ax and murderous intent because he plays his music too loud. All members of society are called upon to make shared sacrifices for the common good. We don’t construct our own roads, function as judge, jury and executioner of criminals. When we confuse the dignity of the individual with the supremacy of the individual, we become an ungovernable, self-interested mob.

So, there you have it. Dunnevant’s Theory of Good Government. If you think about it, all of the political arguments we engage in can be traced back to these foundational rocks. Where we differ is how best to organize these sometimes conflicting principles. How to balance personal freedom with the pursuit of the common good? How to make laws that best reflect the people’s will and how to administer those laws justly? 

Simple, right? No. Human history is largely the story of human beings trying mightily to find the perfect balance...and mostly failing. Peace and prosperity are the outliers of the human story. When any country stumbles on a formula that works, we marvel. America so stumbled in 1776. It was far from perfect, and we have been hammering out the details ever since, sometimes successfully, other times accompanied by violence. But we persist because the alternative is unacceptable. May we never stop hammering.

A Proud Dad Moment

Good Thursday morning, kids. I have some exciting developments concerning my physical condition, or more precisely put, the uninterrupted deterioration of said condition which I can only conclude comes from the fact that in less than 30 days I will turn 63 years old. 

Eleven days ago, Monday the 22nd of February, I woke up with a painful back. Two days later I regaled you with all the sordid details in a blog post with the unimaginative title, Bad Back. Two days ago the back felt great and yesterday it was 100%. Matter of fact, yesterday afternoon I was able to go for a four mile walk after work. So, about an hour ago I was stepping out of the shower.( I have an 8 o’clock Zoom call with a client so I had to get in the shower ahead of Pam). Anyway, I stepped out of the shower and reached up to grab my towel off the hanger on the back of the bathroom door like I’ve done, oh—I don’t know—7,000 times since we’ve lived in this house, and BAMM, that sickening twinge, the brief flutter of nausea, and a muttered profanity. Yes, I have thrown it out...again. As the kids like to say...I can’t even...

On a brighter note, I would like to brag on my kids for a minute. Kaitlin and Patrick are both in their early 30’s and I often tell them that they are both better people than Pam and I were at their age. It’s not just a clever line, it happens to be the truth. They are both extremely bright, hard working, compassionate people who no matter what else I might screw up in life I can always point to and say, “See those two? Pam and I did that.” But we are a generation apart and as a result disagree on many things. When it comes to politics, Kaitlin is to my ideological left while Patrick is to her left, farther from his father’s libertarian-tinged conservatism. But the helpful part of this dynamic is that they are both whip-smart and can offer me less emotional, more logical explanations of their views than I can find on the shouting matches of cable news shows or the spittle flying, fact-less tirades on social media. When I come across what I know is a complicated issue reduced to a meme snippet, I know that I can rely on Patrick to give me a fuller explanation, So I will often text him to ask a question or tease him about the latest crazy left wing fad I’ve stumbled across. We trade snark for a few minutes. We do this because while my kids may have different political views, the apple of their trash talking fell directly at the roots of Dad’s tree! Anyway, eventually we start having a substantial  discussion of whatever issue it is. Such was the case yesterday with the Dr. Seuss business.

So, what are the results of these discussions, you might ask? Does anyone’s mind get changed? The answer is mostly...no. But here’s what does happen. I always learn something. I like to think they do too. Sometimes they will say something that I had never thought about. Sometimes these discussions cause me to question my assumptions and yes, sometimes I find them lacking. Of course sometimes even after a logical explanation of their views I come away thinking, ‘Sorry, that’s still nuts!!” But after one of these long text exchanges I always come away intensely proud of them. Somehow, against all odds, Pam and I have raised kids who care about their neighbors, who have a heart for the least of these, and can sling pithy sarcasm back at their dad as well as he dishes it out. You just can’t ask for more than that!

Semi-Profound Thoughts

*Here are some semi-profound thoughts for all of you to ponder on this Wednesday:

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

...Annnd one lame joke:

Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

*Thanks, Bob Pentland

A Fifteen Minute Break

So, yesterday was a typical Monday at the office. I was busy getting the week’s appointments organized, putting together reports for a half dozen annual reviews I have scheduled. There was also a problem brewing with some paperwork from last week which I was trying to straighten out. In other words, I was as busy as a one-arm paper hanger, when a got this text from my daughter:

Kaitlin: Do you have any animal related dad jokes? I’m asking for Bailey.

(Bailey is Kaitlin’s best friend in Columbia and a real sweetheart.)

Me: Of course. What kind of animals?

Kaitlin: Any kind. If she’s asking for Milo, I know that dinosaurs are involved.

(Milo is Bailey’s super cool little boy)

Me: I’ll see what I can do. 

Kaitlin: It’s for a friend who teaches science. Anything appropriate for Middle School.

Me: Are you kidding? That’s my specialty!! Wait, “uh excuse me Mr. Client, but there’s a kid in Columbia who needs some animal dad jokes. Can I call you back later?”

Kaitlin: Ha! Bailey says, “Tell Mr. Client this is PRIORITY ONE!”

Sometimes its the little things that happen throughout the day that refresh your mental health. I’ve heard them referred to as grace notes or serendipity. Whatever you want to call it, these little interruptions have the power to recharge the soul. They can be literally the pause that refreshes. I immediately dropped everything and went to work. Within ten minutes I had sent her this:

The rest of the exchange went like this...

I suppose that the lesson here is, sometimes the most important thing isn’t the most important thing. Sometimes a fifteen text conversation with your adult child can be a golden moment. Sometimes, a sidebar that involves middle school humor is just the thing to steady you for a return into the serious business of your adult life.

Thanks, Bailey and Kaitlin. I needed it.

WELCOME!!

I would like to be the first to congratulate the Month of March for arriving on time as advertised. Those of us who have been held in the vice grip of February could not be happier at your appearance. Although it is raining and gross outside, we are all confident that you will bring much better times to Central Virginia and beyond.

You have many things going for you:

- During your time with us Spring will officially arrive.

- Warmer temperatures will spread over our neighborhoods.

- St. Patrick’s Day.

- Spring training baseball.

- The Masters

- International Women’s Day. Ok, I didn’t even know this was a thing, but if it’s sunny and 70, I’m in.

- Yard work...when the yard finally gets dry enough to actually walk in...and all the preparations required for outdoor living.

March, we have always seen you as a sign of hope. By the end of February, we are all at the end of our ropes, fed up with cold, snow and ice. We have grown weary of leafless trees, colorless skies and dead things. We have become sick and tired of the inside of our homes. The prospect of another snow storm hovers over us like the angel of death. Even the possibility of a snow day no longer brings joy, only aggravation. Our spirits lag every time we see our deck furniture without their cushions. They look naked and afraid, like frail, emaciated prisoners of war, sitting out there alone and worthless. But now you have arrived, the army of liberation.

Yes, we are aware that on relatively rare occasions, snowstorms come during your reign. When they do, they are particularly fierce and devastating to our mental health, coming at a time which seems to all of us completely unfair and unjust. We beseech you to do all in your power to prevent such a catastrophe this year.

Once again, we thank you for your arrival and wish you all the best over these next 31 days. 

Warmly,

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