PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

In my continuing effort to raise awareness of the dangers of COVID, today I have a word for all of my friends who play the game of golf. Precautions need to be taken by all golfers at all times to prevent the spread of this deadly virus. To that end, let this timely tip serve as a warning and a reminder:

Hat tip to my friend, Tom Allen, for this public service announcement.

“Doug, what’s with all the jokes?”

It would be easy to write a post about Jerry Falwell this morning. For someone with my gift for irreverent snark, that post would practically write itself. There’s a part of me that would take great pleasure in doing so. But that’s the part of me that I don’t like very much. So, I will leave that blogpost to others. 

Instead, I would like to address a subject that I have been asked about in subtle and not so subtle ways of late...How come you post so many stupid jokes on Facebook and on your blog when there are so many horrible things going on in the world? Let me begin by answering the question. I do so precisely because there are so many horrible things going on in the world.

I don’t live in some hermetically sealed bubble. I am fully aware of the severities of the moment. COVID, racial unrest, politics, our poisoned discourse...all of it. But, my understanding of history is that every generation that has ever lived has experienced their own difficulties, most worse than this. Frankly, most far worse than this. If you don’t believe me, pick up a history book and read about what daily life was like 100, 200, 500 years ago, or if you’re not into reading, watch a show like The Last Kingdom for a taste of what it was like to exist in the 9th century...then get back to me on how horrible we have it in the United States in 2020.

Here’s the thing, when you’re in a mess, sometimes all you can see is the mess. It’s so easy to be blinded to the opportunities right in front of your eyes. Here we are in 2020, most of us carrying around the accumulated wisdom and knowledge from over 6000 years of the human experience in the palms of our hands. In America, food is cheaper and more plentiful than it has ever been in the history of civilization. We have access through any internet connection to products from literally every corner of the globe at our fingertips. We live and work in buildings with central air, heat and indoor plumbing, all things non-existent a mere 75 years ago and for all of human history that has proceeded us. Diseases that routinely killed hundreds of thousands of people in the past are treated with over the counter medicines that cost less than five bucks. The vast majority of us have the ability to get in a car and relocate ourselves from one side of the country to another, without a dangerous and often deadly three month slog through the wilderness. We open the taps of the lowliest kitchen sink in America and clean drinking water comes out (unless you live in Flint, Mich.). Any idiot with a cellphone can conceive of the lamest idea for a video, watch it go viral and start making a living on the internet, all without even a high school education. So, while America is certainly a screwed up place at this moment, it is still, by almost any definition, a land of great opportunity. And, I’ve got news for all of you doom-sayers out there...it will continue to be so no matter which guy wins in November. 

So, yes, we can and should do better as a country. We can and should do better by each other. But, sometimes, the amplifying power of the 24/7 news cycle and the omnipresent stream of bad news and bad faith arguments on social media can turn even the most ardent optimist into a weeping prophet. When I feel it beginning to happen to me, that’s when I break out the jokes. I don’t do it to escape the unpleasantness, but rather to remind myself and all of you that there is something better just beyond the mess. So, the next time you see some lame dad jokes here, take a break from whatever it is that has you so vexed and remind yourself how lucky you are to be alive.

It’s Complicated

COVID and all of the related angst and upheaval it has visited upon the world has turned 2020 into the dark punch line of a joke that nobody laughs at or understands. It has touched every corner of our lives in one way or another. When combined with the racial unrest and resulting violence and destruction in America’s cities that it has spawned, a dystopian stench has attached itself to 2020 and it becomes stronger every day. But...it’s not the Great Depression, it’s not World War II. Heck, it’s not even 1968 Newark, New Jersey. But, it’s something.

Much is currently being made of a poll that was taken about the “acceptability” of the number of deaths from the Coronavirus. Seems like a strange question, and I would love to see the exact wording of the question, but nevertheless, 57% of republicans say that the current number of deaths via COVID are acceptable. This has prompted a great hue and cry from many quarters. I am awfully glad that I was not asked this question, because it would have left me in a gigantic quandary of conflicting thoughts. The pollster would probably have fallen asleep before I was able to answer the question. I would have peppered him or her with many questions of my own, primarily, compared to what?

Last year, in the United States there were 170,000 accidental deaths, ie deaths that were unintentional, many job related, most of them motor vehicle accidents. I would imagine to the families of these 170,000 souls, not a single one would have been acceptable. But, what about to the nation as a whole? Considering how much physical work gets done in this country every year, considering the millions of miles that Americans drive every year, 170,000 deaths would be considered acceptable as a natural consequence of human activity. I doubt there would be any calls for parking our cars, or avoiding work because of the potential for fatal accidents. However, nobody would object to precautions taken to lessen the number of such accidents through things like seat belts, airbags, driving slower, and work place safety measures.

When it comes to COVID deaths, 174,000 deaths over the past six months is a lot of death. Moreover, unlike car accidents or falling off os a scaffold on a construction site, COVID is contagious. Anything that is so seems scarier. But, to those who say, this amount of deaths is unacceptable, what does that mean exactly? Do they mean that 174,000 deaths from COVID could have been avoided with some different policy provisions? Perhaps if we had followed New Zealand’s example, we could have saved many lives? New Zealand is home to 4.5 million people, similar to the population of Kentucky. Yet, its land area would cover the east coast from Florida to Pennsylvania. New Zealand isn’t a financial center of the world. New Zealand doesn’t have people from all over the world traveling to and from its shores. Maybe what worked for New Zealand is impractical for us, maybe not. But isn’t context important? 

If the point of the poll question is How many deaths from a currently incurable disease is acceptable in the context of a free society with a trillion dollar economy, then I might be inclined to answer...yes. One has to answer another question, it seems to me...what amount of destruction of businesses, increased domestic violence, increased suicides, along with rises in mental health problems are acceptable as the alternative? The question of risk always involves trade offs. If you shut down a nation as large and economically consequential as ours, attempt to quarantine 300 million people as volatile as us, you are basically accepting the above risks as more desirable than the loss of 174,000 people from COVID. That’s an entirely fair and justifiable position to take, and I’m not saying you are wrong to think so. But, the question seems over simplified. Perhaps some of the folks who answered the poll question had these trade offs in mind. Maybe some of them thought the question a strange one. Or, maybe some of them are heartless money-grabbers who care nothing about deaths. Who knows? What would have been my answer? Probably something like....it’s complicated!!

Greatest Headline Ever

Every now and then I see a headline on the Drudge Report that gets my undivided attention. This morning it was this one:

Pecker Out At National Enquirer 

I think, Well sure...its the Enquirer! Then I read further and decide that this might be the greatest headline of the year. CEO of the National Enquirer, David Pecker, has stepped down after a merger of the company with A360, LLC.

These days we have to find laughter anywhere we can.

So, the Democratic convention is over, and from what I have read Joe Biden gave a good speech. The Obama’s gave speeches, as did the Clinton’s. Lots of other people gave short speech-etts. The consensus opinion seems to be that the first virtual political convention was pulled off rather well, considering the fact that it had never been tried before. Next up will be the Republicans, who will attempt the same thing, albeit with far inferior star power. They won’t have any beautiful actresses, handsome actors and hip entertainers to glitz up the proceedings, unless you still consider the dude who played Chachi on Happy Days glitzy. But, the Republicans have never been able to compete with the stranglehold that the other side has on Hollywood. All of the beautiful people are always Democrats. Nevertheless, it hasn’t stopped Lincoln’s party from winning elections, so maybe it doesn’t matter. 

As of this morning there are 80 days until Election Day.

It’s going to be excruciating.

Revolution?

In August of 1968, Americans were jolted by two disturbing images on their television sets. The first was from Chicago as policemen violently clashed with protesters in the streets outside the Democratic National Convention. The second was the appearance of Soviet tanks rumbling through the streets of Prague, Czechoslovakia crushing the nascent Prague Spring movement. It seemed that the world was coming apart, the streets filled with discontent and blood. Three months later, The Beatles released Revolution, John Lennon’s reaction to the violence and chaos. Some on the left praised his commitment to peaceful protest and non-violence. Others were shocked and disappointed. You be the judge:

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be 
All right, all right, all right

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We're doing what we can

But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell is brother you have to wait
Don't you know it's gonna be 
All right, all right, all right

You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead

But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know it's gonna be 

An observation or two 52 years later...

First of all, how in the world has it been 52 years since this song was released? Secondly, in my opinion, it’s remarkable how well these sentiments have held up. I’m still not interested in—giving money for people with minds that hate. My attitude towards destruction remains—count me out. And frankly, I’m still waiting—to see the plan. But most of all, I still turn away in disgust for people who do the 2020 equivalent of—go around carrying pictures of Chairman Mao.

But, aside from the lyrics, Revolution was a rocking great tune that still makes me want to crank up the volume, roll down the windows and sing at the top of my lungs!

Why My Church Runs a Thrift Store

This is going to be a long but fun day.

My church runs a thrift store in the West End that Pam and I have been volunteering at for a couple of years now. It’s a typical thrift store in many ways except it has really nice stuff priced really cheap, so they move merchandise like nobody’s business. The store makes a lot of money and  plows it back into a wide variety of charities and ministries here in our city and around the world. The stories I could tell about what a blessing that place has been to people down on their luck are incredible. It’s been a great place to volunteer our time, along side people who want to make a difference in the lives of people who enter the building.

Well, today, we are opening a second store over at the Belgrade Shopping Center south of the river. Pam and I took a shift from 11:00 to 3:00. I haven’t seen the place yet but I’ve heard the stories and can’t wait. I blame Renee Norton for getting me hooked up with this thrift store gig. She is, for lack of a better term, the general manager of the operation, the boss lady who happens to be in our small group at Hope. But she isn’t the only passionate cheerleader of the store, I could rattle off the names of at least a dozen others who have devoted large chunks of their time to make the place work. There are only a handful of full time employees of the store. The vast majority of those who work there are volunteers like Pam and me. You can imagine how difficult it has been to get the nearly 190 such volunteers to venture back out to work once again after the shut down caused by COVID. I mean, this isn’t exactly what anyone would call a sterile environment. (There are dumpsters involved!!). But, here we are, opening a second location in the year of a pandemic. 

One story...a year or so ago there was a young mother with three elementary school aged kids. She was clearly struggling with the enormity of the task of getting three young children ready for back to school with very limited resources. As she got to the register she laid out a ton of cute clothes that looked like new clothes, enough to give each child several outfits for the new school year. When the order was rung up it was an insanely small amount of money. The look on her face...the relief, the gratefulness that she had found so much for so little shown from that face like a beam of light. Tears welled in her eyes.

That’s exactly why my church runs a thrift store and why we are opening a second one in the middle of a pandemic. Stop by if you get a chance.

The Conventions

There will be a virtual political convention this week for the first time ever. The Democrats will nominate Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. It will all be live-streamed and covered on the networks and many cable channels. I will read reports about what happened later but I won’t be watching. Whenever it’s the Republican’s turn, which I assume will be sometime later this month, I won’t watch that either. It’s not that I don’t care what goes on at these things. It’s not that I don’t think it’s important and all. The thing is, I just don’t have the stomach for it anymore. Whenever I see a high profile politician giving a speech at a high profile television event like a convention or, even worse, a debate, part of me really does want to watch. Sometime, I even start out watching. Then after ten or fifteen minutes I start getting sick on my stomach. Not throwing up sick, but more like a queasiness that you know won’t end in vomiting, but will still be quite uncomfortable. I find myself sitting there offering my silent objections after every third sentence or so...that’s bullshit...that was taken out of context...that’s a half truth...what a lie...that’s a deliberate distortion...and that’s just when the journalist are talking! Once the politicians start in, these silent objections become not so silent. My blood pressure starts going up, and before long my entire week gets ruined. So, no. I will not be watching.

Another reason I won’t be watching is that these things never—-and I mean never—change anyone’s mind. Political conventions are for the party faithful. It’s like a pep rally for the already converted. If I was a partisan Democrat or Republican, I would love a convention. What partisan wouldn’t, right? There you are surrounded by like minded people getting fired up about the man or woman you are convinced is the only person who can save the country. Back when I used to tune in, from about 1968 thru 2000, the delegates all looked like they were having a blast, well, except for the Dems in ‘68. Some of them would dress up in crazy patriotic costumes and stuff, parade around with huge elephant hats and carrying donkey shaped purses, all looking ecstatic to be there saving the world.

Then, there was the big balloon drop on the last night after the nominee’s speech. When I was a kid I thought it was so incredibly cool watching those red, white and blue balloons filling the arena, a sea of color and fun. It all seemed so magical. 

Now everything seems poisonous. Where once these events radiated a sense of joy and possibility, now they seem angry and out for blood and revenge. The other guys aren’t just wrong, they’re evil. They’re not just mistaken on policy, they want to destroy the country, strip us of our freedoms, turn us into a communist state, destroy the environment. It’s all so overwrought and pompous, their comportment about as self absorbed as it is possible to me. 

Somebody once described politics as the art of the possible. Nothing could possibly be further from the truth. There is no art, and the only thing possible is whatever we have enough votes to pass and then shove down the other guy’s throat.

Nope. No sale.