Pam Was Right. I Was Wrong....Again!

 I know this will be very difficult for many of you to believe, but apparently I have a couple of annoying personality traits that irritate the dickens out of my wife. This past weekend one of them was on full display. The annoying personality trait of which I speak concerns my tendency towards over confidence, especially when it comes to self-diagnosing. Let me try to explain...

Ok, readers of this blog are aware that the past few months have visited upon me a plague of back, neck and shoulder problems. The most recent visitation involves a mysteriously cranky right shoulder, which feels an awful lot like my left shoulder felt two years ago right before I had rotator cuff surgery. For a week and a half now, the shoulder has started out the day virtually pain free only to gradually get tighter and more painful as the day wears on until by bedtime I am about ready to bite down firmly on stick while Pam saws my arm off! Well...this past Friday, I had a very good day. No, I had not been divinely healed, but searing pain had been transformed to mildly annoying discomfort. So, when I woke up Saturday morning pain free, my over confident, self diagnosing thing kicked in. I informed the wife that I was planning to take Lucy over to the track behind Pocohontas Middle School and throw the frisbee, then come home and cut the grass. It was then when she shot me...the look. 

My wife is too kind of a person to truly launch into someone, so she starts out with a heavy sigh and begins shaking her head from side to side, "Honey, just because you've had one decent day doesn't mean that the last eight days of pain didn't happen! There's something wrong with your shoulder, and you're not helping it by doing everything you always do on a Saturday! You need to REST YOUR SHOULDER!" At that point I began assuring her that I would take it easy and not try to do too much, which to her ears sounds an awful lot like...lies.

After around twenty minutes or so at the track the shoulder began to hurt a little. I made what I felt was an adult, mature, responsible decision to cut our play time short and head back home. When I came into the house Pam was getting ready to go for her morning walk. I smiled and told her that she had been right, but hadn't I been smart for coming home instead of pushing it? Oddly, she was not happy with what I thought was quite a victory. Instead, she huffed past me, without so much as an "it's about time!!"

Then, I made a really stupid decision. There's probably nothing I enjoy more than working on my yard. I know it sounds weird, but I love to cut the grass...and my lawn was crying out to me. But then I remembered Pam's warning about doing too much. It was then that I came up with what in hindsight was a pretty stupid idea. What I was searching for was a way to cut the grass without violating the letter of the law that Pam had laid down. So, my brilliant solution was...I'll cut the entire yard...LEFT HANDED.

There probably isn't any need for me to tell you what happened next. Pam was NOT happy when she returned from her walk to find me mowing the lawn awkwardly with my left hand on the handle, struggling to keep the mower in a straight line. Let's just say that it made for some tense moments later at dinner on date night.

I really don't know what's wrong with me when it comes to this sort of thing. I always manage to convince myself that I am cured of any ailment the minute I can go ten minutes without any symptoms. Part of it is from personal experience, since in ancient times it used to sometimes work...back when I was twenty. The hardest thing on earth for me to do, besides sitting still in church and/or business meetings, is convalescing. Rest isn't as easy as it sounds. 

But, unfortunately, Pam was right. Sunday morning, the shoulder pain was back and it got steadily worse throughout the day and this morning it's unpleasant as well. So, she was right. I was wrong. Again. To her everlasting credit, she hasn't yet started with the "I told you so's"

Debate #Two. My Take.

Two Republican televised debates are now in the can, and although neither of them were actual, debates, we do know much more about these candidates than we did before. Thanks to the insufferable Donald Trump, they have also been the two must watched cable TV shows in history, which is either a good or bad thing, depending on whether you are an optimist or a pessimist. Nevertheless, here's my up to date analysis of the candidates in no particular order:

1. Donald Trump will eventual get bored with this race and find some idiotic excuse to beg out.

2. John Kascich is angling for the job of token Republican in Hillary Clinton's cabinet.

3. Marco Rubio is looking more and more like the Republican's answer to JFK.

4. Mike Huckabee is an artful rube.

5. Ted Cruz needs to learn how to answer questions instead of making speeches.

6. Rand Paul looks so unhappy. Smile man, you're smart and right on most of the issues!

7. Chris Christie comes across as way too New Jerseyian.

8. Carly Fiorina is one bad-a## woman. She has the cahones that Jeb Bush is looking for.

9. Jeb Bush. See #8 above.

10. Scott Walker is a disappointment.

11. Ben Carson is a wonderful person and might even be a good President, but he's just a bit too soft spoken and deliberate for my tastes.

So, there you have it. My ideal ticket for 2016 at this point would be Rubio/Fiorina...in any order you prefer. Time will tell.

Ghost Letter

Yesterday I received a large envelope from the Veterens Administration. This was inside:

Yes, a full fifteen months after my father's death, the VA gets around to sending me what is obviously a ritualized acknowledgement of his service in the military. Despite the predictable government ineptitude that this represents, I must admit that I had a lump in my throat as I held it in my hand. It felt like some kind of otherworldly communication. To see my Dad's name on parchment with a gold embossed eagle at the top signed by the reproduced signature of the President of the United States...was moving. It was as if I was holding in my hand proof that the world knew who my Dad was, someone besides his family acknowledging that he was a fine and decent man, a man who did his duty. I think I will have it framed and give it to my sister Linda. It needs to hang on a wall somewhere, and Linda deserves the honor. 

It's funny, I can go days without thinking of Mom and Dad, and then out of nowhere, something like this happens and suddenly they are all I think about. It's no longer sadness, but rather a sense that we all have been reduced, lessened, diminished by their absence. Something powerful has been lost, but thankfully, not forever.

So, What's So Bad About Socialism?

Today has been a difficult day for me. The shoulder has suddenly become a monster of a thing. I ate my lunch entirely with my left hand today for the first time since, probably ever. The simple motion of raising my fork to my mouth was too much for the right shoulder to bear. Typing this blog must be done carefully, with my right hand firmly planted on the table or pain shoots directly into the middle of the shoulder socket. I have no explanation other than what my Chriopractor called it today in his diagnosis...adhesive capsulitis. I Googled it when I got back to the office and quietly cursed myself for not paying better attention in anatomy class.

I am currently medicated within an inch of my life so bear this in mind while reading the remainder of this blog which is going to be about the latest craze in American politics...democratic socialism. This is what Bernie Sanders self-identifies himself as. The difference between regular old socialism, and the democratic variety seems to be the vote...as in we get socialism only if we vote for it, not by totalitarian compulsion. I, for one, am very relieved to hear that!

But, when discussing the pros and cons of socialism it's hard not to get tangled up in labels. Some draw no distinction between socialism and communism, for example. Others only seem to want to talk about the glories of successful Scandnavian socialism, with no mention of Cuba or Venezuala. Still others view socialism as the mortal enemy of capitalism. It's all a giant mess of accusations and vitriol. So, here's my take.

First of all, I believe and assert confidently, that capitalism is the greatest system of economic organization in the history of the world, in that its adoption has produced more wealth for more people than any other system known to man. However, I believe it safe to say that we do not have capitalism any longer in the United States. We used to, for a while, but no longer. What we have now is an unholy brew of cronyism, influence peddling giant mega corporations, and crooked politicians making the world safe for their oligarchy. Why have politicians been so empowered? Because when we allowed them to construct a 70,000 page tax code, WE empowered them. He who writes the rules...senators, congressmen, and big business lobbyists, have the power.

So, instead of making a product that people want and are willing to pay for, the way to really get rich in this country is to buy a couple of congressmen, hire a team of the best lobbyist that money will buy,( the best of whom used to be congressmen), and have a sweet tax break added at the last minute to some appropriations bill that will give your company an unfair advantage in the market place. 

So, does this mean that I would be in favor of a more socialism-friendly approach to government? Actually, it means the exact opposite. What I would like to see is power taken away from politicians by doing away with the entire tax code and replacing it with a flat tax with ZERO deductions and ZERO tax breaks for anything or anyone. But, that's a discussion for another time. Let's get back to thewhole  socialism thing.

I will admit to being a bit put off when I see the word socialist. Part of it is that I was born in 1958 and can still remember those stupid duck and cover drills in elementary schools. I remember the Cold War like it was yesterday, the epic struggle between the freedom and democracy of the west with the totalitarianism of communist China and The Soviet Union, and especially the Soviet client state 90 miles from Key West. And sure, I understand that the democratic socialism of Bernie Sanders is a far cry from the gulags of Siberia, still, it's a powerfully evocative word with special power to anyone born before 1960. But the real issue I have with socialism is their blind faith in the gloriously transformative, potential of government. To hear a socialist describe any problem we face, the answer is always, and I mean always, an expansion of centralized government power. None of them seem even mildly concerned that a government so empowered could ever become so powerful that it controls...everything. The solutions that they offer throw around other people's money as if it were an infinite commodity. "Pay everyone $15 an hour, give them free, universal health care, pay for their college education, and we'll do it all with money to spare!" We'll just tax people making X amount at the rate of XX percent. And this wealth redistribution will have no impact on the economy because people won't change their behavior once we start taxing them at higher rates. It all seems so insufferably naive to me.

So, if the question becomes, which do you fear more, a muscular, monstrously powerful government, or a muscular and monstrously powerful oligarchy, well...that's a harder question. The ideals of socialism are quite seductive. Who doesn't want everyone to make $15, $25, $50 dollars an hour? Who wouldn't want everyone to get a free college education? Why shouldn't everyone get all the free health care they need or want? Some even suggest that if you don't want all of these things to come true, you are either a selfish, greedy bastard, or a Christian hypocrite. For me, it's not a question of what I wish were the case, it's more a question of what is sustainable and possible when human nature is factored into the equation and the boring economic laws of plenty and scarcity.

Yes, but Doug, you say...look at the Scandanavian countries. They have wonderful economies and they do all of these things for their citizens. Ok, let's look at the Danes, the Norwegians and any other Nordic state you might have in mind. Those countries are small states and they all have a couple of things in common that make them more amenable to socialistic schemes. First of all, they are homogeneous nations with virtually no significant minority communities. Secondly, they are able to provide the bounty of cradle to grave welfare to their citizens largely because none of them have ever been asked to rid Europe of totalitarian bullies in the past 75 years or fight a Cold War with the Soviet Union. Not having much of a defense budget will do that. Of course, you could say, well maybe we should scale back our military. Again, a nice thought and one that I might entertain, but to not mention its relevance when touting the examples of socialism's successes there is disingenuous.

I guess for me, although I know that something is dreadfully wrong in our country and that the way things are now is unacceptable, I'm not ready to turn my back on capitalism. And I resent people like Bernie Sanders always telling everyone that the entire game is rigged. It simply isn't true. Not every success story is tainted by malfeasance. There is a reason that every year over half of the inventions in the world come from here. There's a reason Americans win so many Nobel prizes. The free enterprise system and its exalted view of private property rights is what has built this country. Any self respecting socialist would almost automatically be suspicious of private property, and would certainly not insist on it as a fundamental right of a citizen. The heart of any decent socialist beats for empowered government control of society, not individual private property rights. So, therein lies the delimma.

Many of you know my story and the humble beginnings of my family. For any candidate to suggest that if I turned out to have started a profitable business, that I somehow won life's lottery is something that eats at me. To try to suggest that because of my race, or any other alleged natural advantage I was born with, anything, besides my willingness to work my ass off doing the difficult things that less successful people were always unwilling to do, to suggest that anything else made me successful will never be a big seller in my world.

If you're still optimistic about what an empowered, benevolent government might do for you, remember what it's like at the DMV. Walk into one of the offices where they hand out unemployment checks and take a look around. Feel the love, feel the efficiency. Now imagine a government responsible for not only unemployment benefits but all of your health care, the college education of all your kids, and providing you with a job. (It takes a lot of folks to run a cradle to grave welfare state, my friend). If you're still excited at the prospect of democratic socialism, then go for it. If it comes to that, I'll have to pray that I'm wrong and you're all right.

.......Wow, what a meandering mess of a post this turned out to be. Sorry!!

Falling Apart

The ongoing neck/shoulder problems I've been having lately have turned almost comical, in the sense that it suites me better to laugh than to cry. There is an aching pain deep inside my right shoulder such that if I were a starting pitcher in the big leagues I would be placed on the 15 day disabled list, or maybe even traded for a player to be named later.

For all of you amateur doctors out there, (and boy, are there a lot of you), here are my symptoms:

1. Range of motion limited to parallel to the ground

2. Dull, aching pain all day, but much worse at night.

3. No tingling sensation or shooting pains down the arm

4. No popping or grinding sound when I move the shoulder.

5. Application of ice seems to do no good, but heat offers some relief.

6. At times, pain seems to increase in intensity with heartbeat, especially at night in bed, in other words  pain seems to change from dull ache to throbbing pain at night.

7. High powered anti-inflamatories and muscle relaxers don't seem to help.

So, there you have it. The good thing about all of this is that I'm not worrying so much about my neck. The pain there is soooo yesterday!

Hospitality is a Gift

I'm not exactly sure how we got roped into it, but this past weekend we welcomed our third group of nursing students from Liberty University. This time it's three girls, all juniors, who will be with us every other weekend as they do their clinicals at St. Mary's hospital. They arrive on Thursday afternoon and head back to Lynchburg Sunday afternoon.

The guidelines for the program say that we are not to provide them with meals or anything really,  except a place to sleep each night. Whoever wrote up these guidelines never met my wife. For Pam, this is like Christmas morning in September. And, I must admit, I love having kids in my house. It goes back to my days in the youth group at my church when every weekend dozens of starving, loud and impossibly energetic teenagers would descend upon my house. Besides, we have three empty bedrooms, so...why not?

Pam doesn't do anything different than normal for the girls. She always cooks hot meals for me every night. Now she just makes those meals for five people rather than two. But, if I was being truthful about the matter I would have to admit that Pam does go out of her way to spoil these kids. She makes up little welcome bags for them their first night. She fixes them a bagged lunch to eat on the way back to Liberty, complete with their name and a smiley face on their bags. This semester we have one girl who is gluten-free, so Pam studied up on how to make sure that she gets gluten-free peach cobbler,( she made a small gluten-free cobbler in a separate bowl ). Part of the reason why she goes to so much trouble is that we have seen over the last couple of years how hard these nursing students work when they are here. They leave the house at 6:30 in the morning and don't get home until after 6 in the evening. Then after dinner, they are up until all hours doing homework and studying. 

But the real reason Pam goes all out is that she has this amazing gift of hospitality. Nothing makes my wife happier than being able to pamper guests in our home. She's always the first person to volunteer to house traveling singing groups from church. She always says "YES" whenever anyone asks if anyone might be interested in hosting twenty college students in our home for a meal...even though our house isn't big enough for any such thing. She finds a way to make it work. It's a fascinating thing to behold.

So, this semester it will be Jen, Jessica, and McKenzie. They will all eat every single thing put in front of them and then ask for seconds. They will marvel at all the little things that Pam will do to make them feel totally and completely at home. And, we will be sad when they head back to Liberty for the last time.

Observations From the World of Sports

Time for a few random observations from around the sports world:

The Washington Nationals are done. How is it possible for a team with that pitching staff, and one of the best players in the game not even make the playoffs? Good bye, Matt Williams.

The Washington Redskins haven't even played their first game of the season and they are already the worst team in the league. Is it something about the city that makes professional sports teams dysfunctional?

The last race of the NASCAR season just happened in my own city and I couldn't tell you which drivers made the chase. That's how far stock car racing has fallen off of my radar screen over the past four or five years.

Arkansas Razorbacks coach, Bret Bielema started his week shooting off his mouth about how hard his schedule is compared to Ohio State's. Then his team goes out and gets beaten by....Toledo...in Little Rock! Here's a hint coach...until you actually win something, keep your pie hole shut!

There was a tennis tournament in New York this week. I think like sixteen people actually watched the women's final.

There was a high school football game the other day where the final score was 104-90. Some kid ran for over 700 yards and 10 touchdowns. The game was momentarily stopped  halfway through the third period when some kid actually made a tackle. He was immediately recognized with a ceremony on the 50 yard line, hugged by his proud parents and given a trophy.

The St. Louis Cardinals have the best record in Major League Baseball, despite the fact that their lineup contains players named, Piscotty, Moss, Garcia, and Pham, all players that no one besides their parents have ever heard of. How do they keep doing this year after year??

The NFL season begins in earnest today and my predictions are as follows:

The Dallas Cowboys will underperform and Jason Garrett will keep his job, proving that he has pictures of Jerry Jones having sex with Dan Snyder.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers will make the playoffs with their rookie of the year winning quarterback leading the way.

The Philadelphia Eagles will lose their starting QB Sam Bradford to injury in week one, then backup Mark Sanchez will throw ten interceptions in his first three games as the starter, forcing coach Chip Kelly to call up Tim Tebow who will then lead them to the Super Bowl, causing every television anlalyst to have a nervous breakdown.

Peyton Manning will not make it through the season.

JJ Watt will score more touchdowns than RGIII.

Johnnie Manziel will enjoy his first taste of success as a NFL quarterback, only to be suspended for the season after getting caught punching out a woman in a strip club after failing a drug test.

The Philadelphia Eagles will lose the Super Bowl to the New England Patriots, when the game is decided by a crucial first down measurement late in the game, with Tim Tebow coming up inches short . After the game it will be discovered that a New England employee managed to add two links to the chain during a television timeout. The resulting investigation will be personally overseen by Roger Goddell who will ultimately determine that there is insufficient evidence to overturn the Patriot victory.