Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out

Ashley Madison.com, the answer to the question, " Can this world possibly get any worse?"

News broke yesterday that the cheaters website had been hacked and the identities of it's 37 million customers had been leaked online. The suits at Ashley Madison were indignant:

" It is an illegal action against the individual members of AshleyMadison.com, as well as any freethinking people who choose to engage in fully lawful online activities. The criminal or criminals involved in this act have appointed themselves as the moral judge, juror, and executioner, seeing fit to impose a personal notion of virtue on all of society."

Ashley Madison is the biggest player in the online adultery industry, describing itself as a company that provides innovative dating services. Of course, there isn't anything innovative about committing adultery since people have been doing it for thousands of years, however, I suppose the chance to find   a liaison without even having to get your lazy backside off of the sofa is a breakthrough of sorts. But, 37 million users?? If divorce lawyers were a stock, I would be buying this morning.

Their statement of indignation kills me. So, it's the free thinkers of the world who choose to establish secret accounts with which to seek out clandestine meetings with strangers for sex. First of all, nothing about destroying one's marriage is free, and I doubt seriously how much thinking is going on when someone enters their credit card information into an adultery website. And yes AshleyMadison.com executives, use of your site is a perfectly lawful online activity. But if your service is so great, why all the cloak and dagger secrecy? I guess that's the fault of all of us moral judges who view betraying a wedding vow as a bad thing because of our outdated personal notions 
of virtue.

So, this morning, all throughout the western world, cheaters are sweating bullets. Wall Street scumbags are on edge. Politicians are popping valium, and televangelist are hiring PR firms as we speak. So far the only famous name that's been leaked came last night when the website Gawker identified Josh Duggar as having had not one but two accounts. Yes, that Josh Duggar. Apparently, when Mr. Duggar wasn't busy blaming gays for undermining the institution of marriage, he was trying his best to undermine his own. And, let me save my fellow Christians from embarrassing themselves by complaining that Gawker rushing to expose Josh Duggar amounts to some sort of Christian persecution. No, it doesn't. Hypocracy, it has been said, is the compliment that vice pays to virtue, something that the big shots at AshleyMadison.com know full well. So, when an atheist, free love enthusiast shows up on a cheaters website, it isn't exactly news. But when an outspoken, family values Christian shows up on the same website, that is news and frankly, it should be. If you loudly talk the talk, you better walk the walk, or you become a laughing stock. Sorry, that's the way the world works.

The fact that websites like Ashley Madison exist is bad enough. That they have 37 million users is worse, and profoundly disheartening. One wonders how many families are about to be torn apart in the coming days, how many lives are about to be shattered. And for what? A night of sex with a stranger?

Free thinking? Please...

A Beautiful Truth

The other day my son posted a quote on Facebook. He had been at a Nashville Symphony Chorus rehearsal, I believe, and the conductor had said something profound:

"If you know of any way to get results other than discipline and hard work, please let me know. Is there something on Facebook or Instagram that I'm missing?"

You can go days on social media and not see anything of lasting value, then...this. I don't know the person who made this statement, but the instant I read it I wanted to meet him/her and give them a hug. It probably sounded familiar to Patrick, since I've been preaching this same gospel all of his life. The fact that he thought it worthy of sharing on Facebook made my day. The fact is, there is no better advice for a young person to hear than the notion that there are no shortcuts to success in life. 

I spent ten years teaching teenagers Sunday School at my church. I loved it, I loved them, basically because they were all so brand new to the world, so full of talent and potential. I would look at them and wonder what they would do with their lives, who would they become? Some of them had natural advantages like strong families, and well connected support groups. Some came from well off parents. Others didn't have much in the way of money or family support. So, each path would be different, more difficult for some, more headwinds, less resources. My message to them all was the same, if you want to make something of yourself in this world, there is no substitute for hard work.

Years have passed since the days when my house was overrun by wild, starving teenagers every weekend. But I have never lost track of those kids, hundreds of them, thanks in no small part to social media sites like Facebook. Some of the most advantaged kids have struggled finding their way as adults. Some of the kids with the most barriers in their way have flourished. Many of the kids who I thought would do well have. But there have also been surprises. That strange boy who never said a lot, or that shy girl who always seemed sad about something have astonished me with what they have been able to build with their lives. Everyone of them who have done well have one thing in common...they all have worked their tails off. None of them have won the lottery, not a single one has inherited a fortune or stumbled onto some get rich quick scheme. None of them have been overnight successes. It's been a slow hard grind, full of setbacks and disappointments, but despite the difficulties, or perhaps because of them, they have overcome and built wonderful lives for themselves.

So, to the conductor who imparted this beautiful truth to a group of singers in Nashville, whoever you are...thank you.

Creepiest. Photo. Ever.

Ok...this picture creeps me out. I stumbled upon it this morning and immediately lost my appetite. Believe me, the creepiness of this picture has nothing whatsoever to do with politics. It's just disturbing in and of itself. The expression on Bill Clinton's face is zombie-like. That hair, those eyes! This photograph needs...no, it demands a caption. Here are a few for your consideration:

1. "Then I said, Hillary, you either put down that cell phone or I swear I'm gonna smack it out of your hand!"

2.  Obama: Bill, here, have a Snickers. You're not yourself when you're hungry.

3. "Barack, the woman is starving me to death! Look at my arms!!"

4. "Barack, I don't care what the constitution says, I'm begging you! PLEASE run for a third term. If Hillary becomes President, I'll kill myself!"

5. Obama: No, but seriously Bill, how do you get your hair that white?

6. "No!! You can't borrow my tee."

7. "You were born where? You have got to be kidding me!!"

8. "Getting old is hell Barack, look here, how do your forearms suddenly get bigger than your biceps?"

 

The REAL Two Americas

Now that the Presidential election campaign is under way, it's time for that time-honored and throughly hackneyed debate topic to rear its ugly head...are their TWO AMERICAS??

Actually, there are probably 18-20 Americas, if you want to get technical about it, but I will concentrate on the Two America shtick here for purposes of clarity. Usually, this trope is most often raised by liberal democrats, although increasingly, republicans have fallen victim to its usage. The basic idea is that America is a horrible place because not everyone is doing equally well. The very existence of wealth means that somewhere, somehow, someone must be poor. The inference is that the wealthy dude came upon his wealth by some fraudulent means, either through inheritance, malfeasance, or chicanery. Insane levels of wealth should shame us. Let me here admit that part of this line of reasoning rings true to me. For example...

How can it be possible that Kanye West is a multi-millionaire ten times over, when a classically trained oboist has to take a second job to pay the rent on his one bedroom apartment in New York City? How is it that Kim Kardashian is worth more money than all the music teachers in American high schools combined? The answer is, of course, that there is absolutely no accounting for taste. Besides, both Mr. West and Ms. Kardashian have obtained their wealth by a series of free exchanges by the individual Americans who watch their shows and buy their records.

Capitalism never promised that it would make the right people rich, only that it would make more people rich than any other economic system ever created. Yes, capitalism has flaws, chief among them  the unavoidably unequal distribution of wealth that always and forever will result so long as talent, ambition, and education are unequally distributed throughout society. But, to hear the Two America's crowd tell it, everyone in America is either rich or poor, so inefficiently has American capitalism allocated resources. Their solution is an invigorated roll for centralized planners in Washington, a much steeper progressive taxation regime, in other words...wealth redistribution, not much different from the old Marxist line about from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs.

But, where do I fit in this grim dichotomy? I am certainly not poor, by any measure that a reasonable person might use to determine such things. However, to declare me rich would also be quite a stretch. Most rich people I'm thinking aren't paying off two mortgages and a college loan. Actually, if I were rich, I wouldn't require a loan to educate my kids, but that's another story. Unfortunately, the Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clintons of this world all agree that my income places me firmly in the "people from whom wealth must be extracted" list. Well, ok then.

But, enough with this class warfare hogwash. Let's talk about the real dichotomy that exists in America, the one that no politician wants to talk about:

There ARE Two Americas...

1. Southerners...and everybody else.

2. People who love soccer and people who don't.

3. Gamers...and everybody else.

4. People who drink lite beer...and everybody else.

5. People who talk loudly on their cell phones while standing in line in a small enclosed area with twenty other people who don't care to hear the specifics of what this idiot wants for dinner...and everyone else.

6. People who prefer ice in their sweet tea, and those who don't.

7. Hunters...and everybody else.

8. New York Yankee fans...and knowledgable, sportsmanship-loving fans everywhere.

9. People who have all the answers...and people who are just trying to figure stuff out.

10. People who prefer paper...and plastic people.

Chiropractors and Squirrels

My chiropractor turned out to be nothing like the caricature of my imagination. He was young, blond and hip with the build of a pole vaulter. He greeted me with a firm handshake and in the fifteen minutes of our time together never once stopped talking. Even when his hands were engaged in inflicted pain on my neck, he kept attempting to educate me on the finer points of soft tissue disruption. Every so often he would ask for a response from me as in, "how does this feel?", to which I would try to answer in as manly a way as possible that it "wasn't too bad." Truth be known, it was quite excruciating.

You never want to hear any doctor say, "oh dear." But, two minutes in, he's oh dear-ing the condition of the soft tissue around my neck. Then he goes on and on about how after he gets done, I will probably be a little sore for a couple of days but that he is so excited because he is sure that he can help me...then it happened. Suddenly, he gripped both sides of my head securely and gave a violent yank to the right filling the room with a loud SNAP!!! Up until this point, I had been determined not to let out any whining whimpers of pain, no matter what he did, but this time I heard myself let out something that sounded like..."ummm...GAAAAAAAAAKKKKKK, What the heck was that!!??" 

He assured me that what he had just done was crucial to my recovery and that I would thank him later. Actually, my neck did feel better after this scary yank, so I said nothing. Then he handed me off to his assistant whose job it would be to teach me five excercizes to do every day. Think...a 25 year old nurse Ratchet...Then, it was off to a small room where I was instructed to lie face down on a padded table, where my nurse affixed four electrodes at various places on my neck, then covered my entire back and neck area with heavy and hot blankets. She then says, "Now, I'm going to turn these on and you need to tell me when you can feel the tingling and when it's not too uncomfortable let me know."

"When it's not too uncomfortable," isn't exactly a phrase that puts the mind at ease. However, this ten minute procedure was the most enjoyable part of my visit. I was told that the purpose of it was to help break up the damaged soft tissue thing. All I know is that when it was over, my neck felt better than it has in weeks, at least it did for about thirty minutes. Before I knew what was happening I heard myself agree to another visit next Tuesday when they would let me know exactly how much these visits were actually going to cost, since I still hadn't satisfied the gargantuan deductible on my health insurance,(Thanks, OBAMA!).

So, there you have it. I survived my first trip to the Chiroprator, and it may have helped...a little, I think...maybe.

One more thing that has nothing to do with my neck...the squirrels have returned. This year's batch are more brazen and cunning than any from years past, actually eating my tomatoes before they even get ripe! Last night I was firing at will at one particularly pesky one when right at the worst possible time I ran out of ammo!! He looked straight at me and I swear I saw him smile, actually more like a smirk. This will never happen again, my friends. I finally found my ammo stash this morning and I am loaded and locked, baby. This is war!

Let's Eliminate a Bunch of Zeros

Back in 2012 President Obama, to the exquisite delight of Statists everywhere, rangled a tax increase from Republicans in Congress. The top income tax rate increased from 35 to 39.6%. In addition, the top tax rate on dividends and capital gains also went up from 15 to 20%. An additional 3.8% levy on dividends, interests, capital gains and royalties also kicked in courtesy of Obamacare. Consequently, through July of 2015, the federal government just set a record by collecting a whopping 2.6 trillion dollars through the first ten months of the fiscal year. For those of you who would like to see what that actually looks like written out....$2,672,414,000,000.00. There are currently only 148 million of us actually working either full or part time. That means that the government took an average of $18,000 from every worker in the United States.

For most enterprises, record revenue announcements are cause for jubilant celebrations and perhaps a champagne toast. But, fun fact, over this same record breaking ten months, the government spent $3,147,953,000,000.00. So despite record revenue, our government managed to add another 466 billion dollars to the debt, or more accurately, $465,539,000,000.00. So, tell me again why the government has a revenue problem and not a spending problem?

It has always frustrated me that neither political party seems to give a flying fig about this. Republicans occasionally conjure up some faux outrage, but whenever they actually have a chance to do something about it, they don't. Democrats don't even try to fake it. Deficits? Who cares about deficits when there are voters to buy? The problem is that the numbers are just so large and terrifying, most people can't wrap their heads around it, so we would just rather not think about it at all. Well, I'm here to help. Let's cut this thing down to size by eliminating a bunch of zeros!

Suppose your take home pay every month was $2,642.00. Let's also suppose that you routinely spent $3,148.00 every month. Very soon, you would be in some serious trouble, right? I mean in 12 short months, you would have piled up over $6000 in debt! At this point, you would have dwindling options. You could get a second job, rob a bank, or maybe buckle down and do something about your spending habits. But surely we can all agree that the last thing you would do is purchase a new car! 

So, the next time any candidate for President announces some new fabulous program promising some free something or other, remind yourself about the car thing. Why would we spend more money we don't have before we fix the going in the hole every month thing? And when they assure us that over some ten or twenty year period ( fortunately long after they are out of office), the new program will have paid for itself, ask them, "how about coming up with a program that will pay for the 18 TRILLION DOLLARS of other programs that we still haven't paid for before we add any new ones onto the pile?"

Tomorrow is a Big Day!

Alright Sports fans, tomorrow is the big day. It's the day that my neck begins the road to recovery. Yes, tomorrow I have my first chiropractic experience. 

Now, I know that the last time I wrote on this subject, I made some less than flattering remarks about the chiropractic sciences. But that was before my Orthopaedic doctor requested that I go see one. It is his view that at the current stage of my decrepitude, it might offer some level of relief. He was quick to point out that it wasn't a long term solution, assuring me that long term I am well and fairly screwed. However, I enter this new phase of my treatment with unbridled enthusiasm.

Several friends have told me of the many benefits to be had by regular visits. Although, none of them have been willing to go into any details as to what exactly goes on during the sessions, leaving my fertile imagination running wild with possibilities. When someone described it as, realigning the spine, it did trouble me since realigning someone's spine sounds quite painful. Are any tools involved? Does this spinal manipulation,(another frightening formulation), require clinched teeth biting down hard on a stick? The mind reels at the possibilities.

Judging by the website of the place I'm going, my guy's doing alright. The site makes my Broker Dealer's website look like it was designed by a dyslectic middle schooler. There are big beautiful pictures of smiling doctors, nurses and positively ecstatic patients. There are lots of moving parts and colorful drop down boxes, and bunches of links to all manner of holistic remedies for everything from bunions to beriberi. There's even an entire section of the site devoted to dispelling MYTHS ABOUT CHIROPRACTIC CARE. In it I learn that back in the 1950's chiropractors picked up an unfortunate reputation as the equivalent of medical used car salesmen, who would come into some unsuspecting small town, set up shop, rip off a bunch of rubes, then move on to the next town. Not so any longer. Today, modern Chrioprators are highly educated, extensively trained professionals, who have earned a respected place at the table that is modern health care. 

I'm counting on it.