Lucy...My Psychotic, Bigot-Dog.

It seems that every day we discover some new wrinkle in our dog's legendary neurosis. You all know of her skittishness, particularly her fear of the randomly raised pillow. Well last night, this...

After dinner, Lucy was snuggled between Pam and I on the sofa acting an awful lot like a normal, well-adjusted pet. We were watching the second episode of " Better Call Saul" and when I say "we" I do mean "we." Lucy loves television. Suddenly there was a scene in Saul's cramped office where he starts sliding his desk across the floor so he can open the sleep sofa. Lucy perked up and began feverishly sniffing the air. Pam and I glanced at each other. Lucy then launched herself off the sofa and ran over to the television for a closer look. About that time, Saul lifted the first of the pillows from the couch. Lucy ran from the room, horrified to discover that not only do her owners lift pillows into the air with no warning, but the little people in the shiny flat screen do too!

Later, after the pillow crisis had passed, she returned to watch some more. About the time she was calmed down and relaxed on the sofa, there appeared on the screen a tight shot of two black actors having some sort of intense conversation. Immediately Lucy beat a hasty retreat, this time with a low soft growl, making her the second consecutive Golden Retreiver we have owned who has a problem with African-Americans. Great. Introducing her to the citizens of Columbia, South Carolina should be a real hoot!

Pray for us.

2016 Presidential Candidates. The early view....

It's February of 2015 and you know what THAT means...the hot stove league for the 2016 presidential election is upon us. Yes, only in America does it take two years to run for an office that allows the winner to serve only four years. Of course, there won't be an actual primary with real votes being cast for a year or so, but crucial work is being done by all the serious candidates as we speak. That serious work being the hiring of campaign strategists and the solicitation of truck loads of cash. It's an unseemly business but somebody's gotta do it. And before you start with how money is corrupting the process, let me point out that if we wind up spending 6 billion in the 2016 election, that will be roughly equivalent to what we spend on lawncare every year, so give it a rest.

The Republican field is huge and not very diverse. Since the party has finally given Sarah Palin the bums rush, there aren't any women. However, there are two minorities that I know of, Ben Carson and Bobby Jindal. The rest are white guys, some of whom are VERY white. Then there's Donald Trump who is an alien, so at least the field is "universally" diverse. At this early stage of the proceedings, I have no informed opinion on the candidates, but since when has having an informed opinion on anything prevented me from offering one? I have limited these opinions to one word modifiers due to time constraints:

1. Jeb Bush...genetics
2. Bobby Jindal...catholic
3. Mike Huckabee...hick
4. Scott Walker...accomplished
5. Chris Christie...fat
6. Ben Carson...doctor
7. Lindsey Graham...please God, No! ( sorry, that's three words)
8. Rick Perry...glasses
9. Ted Cruz...volcanic
10. Rand Paul...long shot
11. Marco Rubio...young

As far as the Democrats go, they are determined to cement themselves as the party of women by currently offering three female candidates, Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, and Joe Biden. At some point I'm sure that a Democratic man will be cojoled into throwing his hat into the ring. Perhaps John Kerry or Al Franken.

It's going to be a long 21 months...

Thanks, Netflix!!

I'm not a television guy. Generally speaking I would rather read. But things are changing here at Casa Dunnevant with the arrival of the single greatest advancement in home entertainment since the piano...Netflix.

Now that the nest is empty and Pam and I don't have the weighty responsibility of parenthood draped over our shoulders, we have been freed to eat our dinner in the den while watching a series of wonderful television shows, all of which come to us courtesy of Netflix and the Bristish Empire. There are no insufferable commercials, and if we wish to watch a second episode we just press play. The fact that most of our favorite shows come from Great Britain is a curiosity. Although American television is more slickly produced and the actors much more attractive, they simply cannot compete with the story-telling, acting and intelligence of their British counterparts. Of course, there are exceptions to this broad statement. If you want a riveting chase scene or gun play or scantily clad babes, then American television has no peer. But if you want smart, witty characters with something to say, stories that make you think, and characters to actually care about, check out any of the following:

1. Foyle's War.  Set in a coastal town in southern England at the outbreak of WWII, it's the story of a detective too old for the army who must stay at home solving crimes while his country is fighting for its life. Most of the crimes are related to the war effort, black market theivery and whatnot, but Foyle still feels that he isn't doing his bit. He hires a spunky and adorable girl to be his driver and the
relationship  that developes between the two is amazingly sweet without anything approaching trite or clichéd. But it's Foyle himself who carries the show. Soft spoken and older man handsome, his keen and curious mind is fascinating to watch. He doesn't actually say much which adds to his appeal. We watched all eight seasons and every climatic arrest scene was pulled off without the brandishing of even one weapon.

2. Downton Abbey.  Enough has been said by me about this wonderful drama. Lush, beautiful to look at, the show is simply chocked full of characters that you will care deeply about.

3. Doc Martin.  Another seaside location in Cornwall provides the setting for this comedy without a laugh track. It's the story about a gifted London surgeon who developes a phobia at the sight of blood and must give up the knife and become a general practitioner in the mythical village of Portwen.
Although the good doctor is medically gifted, he has truly horrible people skills and lacks the ability
or inclination to tell a convenient or social lie. There's a word for this...RUDE, and he has it in spades. Despite his wretched manner, he finds himself attracted to the lovely school head mistress and watching their relationship blossom is like watching a slow motion train wreck. The lead actor is fortunate to be British because he would never land a lead role in an American series since he is truly and indisputably ugly, almost Shrek-like. Actually it's part of his charm and in a weird way makes
him sympathetic.

4. Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. This is a production from Austrailian television about a beautiful heiress in Melbourne during the roaring 20's who becomes that rarest of breeds...a lady detective. This show is where the Great Gatsby meets Amelia Earhart. Phryne Fisher is adorable with her short bob haircut and astonishingly gorgeous clothes, as she proves as equally adept at seduction as she is at brandishing her gold plated pistol or climbing a trellis or speeding along the back roads in her fabulous car. She developes a thing for the local police detective, an incorruptible, by the book sort of
guy who she always seems to be annoying. The stories are wonderful, and the supporting cast all bring their own charms to this delightful production.

Ok, that's enough to get you started. You're welcomed.

Lucy's Park Adventure

My incurably neurotic Lucy had her first visit to the park over the weekend. It was a beautiful day and I am trying to socialize her the best I can. Besides, we are planning on taking her on a road trip this coming weekend down to Columbia, South Carolina to see Jon and Kaitlin, so I figured that she needed some time in the car and at a new place in way of preparation. While I write this at 6:15 in the morning, she is manically spinning around chasing her tail until she gets so dizzy she falls over crosseyed, pink tongue hanging out of her mouth. Einstein she's not.

Anyway, things were going quite well. She loved the park, particularly the other dogs and her first encounter with ducks. We walked around the lake making many unplanned detours at Lucy's behest. I'm beginning to think that she would follow her own nose through the gates of hell, so single minded is she when on the trail of some whiff of whatever. Although she seemed entrigued by the lake, she showed no unusual interest in the water, partly since the county engineers have done quite the job at building wooden hinderences all around the water's edge. But near the end of our 45 minute walk, I managed to find a spot where the water could be accessed by way of several formidable rocks. Lucy cautiously made her way to the edge, sniffing for all she was worth. Suddenly, as if answering some thousand year old genetic urge, she launched herself, spread-eagle off the rocks into the water, to the finger-pointing delight of a previously amorous couple seated on a nearby bench. I thought I had her leash locked. Wrong. She swam around as I frantically tried to reel her in while terrified ducks began fleeing the scene. I finally managed to get her out of the lake and unto dry ground where she immediately engaged in rounds of body shaking, soaking everything within ten feet, including the happy couple.

This dog who is afraid of anything black, this dog who can be sent scurrying for cover at the sight of a raised pillow, this dog who heads to the high grass at the mere appearance of a Target bag, doesn't hesitate to launch herself into an element that she has never seen before in her life.

Well, she IS a Retriever, and I suppose the genetics are impossible to resist. Still, it was an amazing thing to see, the carefree delight she took in swimming for the first time. Of course I had brought no towel with me so she was quite the mess for the ride home. I'm sure that the 6 hour drive to Columbia and life inside a third floor apartment will provide much material for this blog this coming weekend. Stay tuned!

The Crusades vs. Jihad

The President opened a can of worms the other day at the National Prayer Breakfast by attempting a history lesson. In that especially irritating, condescending way that he has at times, he warned Americans not to get on our "high horse" by assigning barbaric acts exclusively to the Muslim faith. He reminded us about the Crusades and the Inquisition as well as slavery and Jim Crow on our own shores and the dark roll that Christianity had played in each. Our President is quite fond of this sort of thing, his strange habit of equivocation, always eager to point out our own sins while granting dispensation for the sins of others. Where to begin?

Let me start with the issue of slavery and Jim Crow, since my historical knowledge is more dependable. The President is correct that slavery is indeed a black mark for not only our nation but Christianity as well. In fact my chosen denomination was birthed over an incorrect interpretation of scripture concerning the nature of slavery. More recently, many churches, especially in the south, were supportive of the Jim Crow laws of the 1950's to their everlasting shame. But whenever I hear this charge leveled against Christianity, my blood begins to rise because the critics always leave out two things. First, the abolitionist movement that ultimately lead to the eradication of human bondage in the West was predominately a Christian project, both here and in England. And while the West is largely free from its scourge, slavery still thrives throughout the Muslim world. Secondly, you would have to search far and wide to find an ordinary Christian who does not admit that slavery was and is a horrible thing and any past Christian support for it was a grave error. In many parts of the Muslim world, by contrast, they danced in the streets celebrating 9/11.  President doesn't need to remind us of what the vast majority of Christians already know, acknowledge and understand...slavery is a sin.

With regards to the Crusades, this is the go-to accusation levied against anyone who dares to publicly
question Islam's seeming domination by its most radical and violent elements. "Well?? What about
the Crusades, huh?? You Christians are no better!!" This is barnyard manure of the highest order. First of all, it needs to be pointed out that the Crusades ended 600 years ago, and the historical accounts of it are filled with conflicting claims as to who in fact was responsible for most of the carnage. The hands of Islam are just as bloody as those of the Crusaders. And while it appears that Christianity has been rather successful at reigning in its Medieval barbarism, Jihad is still very much with us, which is a salient point that the President always seems to miss. The entire point of the crisis in which civilization finds itself is NOT the Christian violence of 1000 AD, but the bloody violence of the here and now, most of which is rooted in the Islamic doctrine of Jihad.

I agree with those who say that it isn't fair to blame an entire religion for the excesses of a minority of its adherents. I cringe when people try to blame Christianity for the Westboro Baptist crowd. I even object to the Westboro haters being called "Christian" since they demonstrate no recognizable fruits of the spirit. So, I have sympathy for the Administrations sometimes awkward parsing of words when
attempting to identify the enemy. Devout Muslims may equally cringe when they hear the lunatics of ISIS called "radical Islamists." But, while Christian churches are being burnt to the ground wherever the Jihadists gain power, Mosque construction continues here in America. No armed, roaming bands of Methodists have been spotted destroying Muslim businesses lately, I know of no Presbyterian gangs raping and pillaging through Dearborn, Michigan.

However, with a billion Muslims on this planet, if only 10% of them support violent Jihad, then we are dealing with potentially 100 million radicalized  Islamic terrorists. While they are still very much
the minority of such an ancient religion, they are the ones with the power, the zeal and the weapons. History lessons about the Crusades do nothing to change this horrible fact.

The Strange Life of a Teacher

My wife has a really cool job. She is an "interventionist." No, she is not in favor of an aggressive foreign policy, rather she works with small groups of elementary school students who are struggling with math or reading, giving them extra help in what is called a "pull out" program. Thirty minutes at a time, she works with 2 or 3 kids, giving them extra instruction where they need it most. She does this with kids from K through 5th grade. She loves the kids and they love her, and she is incredibly good at what she does.

She is not considered a full time employee. She gets no benefits. She gets paid by the hour and her hours are from 8 to noon, 5 days a week. Anyone who knows Pam probably knows what I'm about to say because...well it's just who she is. When it comes to teaching and children, Pam has no idea what a clock is. While this is also true for most teachers, at least they are paid a salary with benefits. My wife shows up before the kids arrive and gets home between 4 and 5 in the afternoon every day, meaning she gets paid for roughly half of the hours she works.

Every year it's something else, some new initiative from the central office or worse, the Department of Education. This year it's something called "progress monitoring" which as best I can tell involves an insane amount of testing and then entering the results into some Rube Goldberg computer program. It's all very complicated and labor intensive. So, in order to get it all done she either has to use paid instruction time, robbing the kids of actual, you know...instruction, or spend three unpaid hours every afternoon logging in meaningless data into her computer to satisfy the blood-sucking bureaucrats of the education mafia who dream up these schemes.

Well, yesterday she sent me an email informing me that her Principal had singled her out for praise since their school was leading the entire county in the accuracy and consistency of the progress monitoring reporting, or some such thing. The person in charge of the initiative had taken the time to call and heap praise upon the stellar interventionists. Pam was so excited, pointing out that since she can never get a bonus or anything like that, a pat on the back meant so much.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what is wrong with education in this country. The best the overachieving teacher can hope for is a "pat on the back." Well, that and 5 bucks will get you a cup of fancy coffee at Starbucks. Congratulations.

I know, I get it...great teachers don't teach because of the money. But can't we come up with a way of identifying and rewarding the best ones? And I'm not talking about some $1000 gift certificate to Teach N Things. Yes, identifying great teachers isn't easy, there are so many variables to consider, not the least of which is parental involvement. But, we can put a man on the moon yet we can't come up with a way to reward excellence in the classroom? What's more important for the future of our country, investment banking, or identifying, rewarding and attracting truly great and gifted teachers?

I've been a business owner most of my adult life. My world is one that is driven by incentives, and return on investment. And while education is no business, the people who work in it are human beings and last time I checked human beings respond to incentives. Would it kill us to offer bonuses, luxury paid vacations, or maybe paid sabbaticals to the best of the best, however defined? Wait, you say that education budgets are tight and there's no money? How about we elliminate 10% of the jobs at the central office and use the savings to fund my teacher enrichment program? I've never met an enterprise in the business world that couldn't be made infinitely better by taking a meat ax to the home office. Education is no different and in fact is probably worse.

Meanwhile, my wife and thousands of other educators like her will have to settle for a "job well done" pat on the back.

Humanity Burned At The Stake

Last night I did something that in the past I have always refused to do, I watched the latest ISIS video. Since this organization of psychopaths burst onto the scene they have been rather fond of executing hostages from a variety of countries in increasingly barbaric ways, then distributing video evidence for the world to see. These videos are dumped on the Internet and immediately go viral, winning them admiration from other psychopaths the world over, and serving as a recruiting tool. It has primarily been for this reason that I have never viewed one, not wanting to become part of the problem by participating in something so dehumanizing. But mostly I haven't watched one of these snuff videos because this isn't Hollywood, these are very real heads being chopped off of living breathing people. No thanks.

But there I was last night reading the story of the Jordanian pilot being burned alive. Something came over me, a dark curiosity mixed with disbelief that it could possibly be true. My finger hesitated over the play button for several seconds. Why was I so curious? Was it all just an overblown hoax fanned by the "let's fight another Middle East war" crowd? I pressed play.

A smartly dressed soldier in what looked like an actual military uniform, face covered in a tan mask, held a torch in his hand, then slowly lowered it to the ground where a narrow line of flame began to dance along the ground, all the while music blared in the background. As the camera pans out we see the bars of a cage, then a man in an orange jumpsuit standing bravely at attention as the fire races toward him. When the flames reach him he lifts his hands to his face and begins to jog in place. At this point it looks no different than a thousand scenes from movies of people on fire. But soon the horrifying reality hits you with a knockout punch as you hear the man screaming. At this point the video-makers go for production value as they pan in with multiple cameras, the music getting louder.
Suddenly there's a closeup of the man's face as he drops to his knees, layers of skin peeling off and
falling to the ground. His face then begins to melt as his now stiff body rocks onto his back, cameras deftly catching the event from several angles. I stopped the video before it ended, having seen way too much.

Yes, practically every civilization on earth has at some point burned people alive as punishment. Joan of Arc perhaps the most famous example. But it's worth noting that Joan of Arc was burned at the stake 600 years ago. Generally speaking, the civilized world doesn't do this sort of thing anymore. An argument can be made that modern man does other equally barbaric things to each other. Killing someone via drone strike from 30,000 feet is no less lethal than being burned alive I suppose. But to actually see such a thing, to hear the triumphant music playing, to watch the celebratory posturing of the ISIS thugs, the raging bloodlust, is to be reminded of mankind's talent for cruelty.