The SEC...and the rest of college football

The SEC. Love them or hate them, there is no middle ground. Either you think that they are the most dominant force in college football with a death grip on the National Title, or you're convinced that they are the most over-hyped collection of genetically modified monsters in the history of sports. Everyone knows about the six consecutive national champions. I spent 3 years of my life living in Louisiana and Alabama and can tell you without hesitation that college football means more to those people than life itself. There is a fanaticism there that borders on madness. After three weeks of the 2012 season it's clear that all of you SEC haters out there are going to suffer through another year nursing that well-deserved inferiority complex.

Most of the pre-season pretenders have already crashed back down to Earth. USC, and Virginia Tech have fallen out of the competition to see who gets to be the latest team to be mauled in the title game by virtue of their losses yesterday. But there are still some teams out there with high hopes. Oregon, Texas, Florida State and Oklahoma will all take turns as the great white hope, the flavor of the month, the team upon which all SEC-hating college football fans will pin their hopes. To my eyes, however, it looks like in order to get to the best team in the country not located in the Confederacy, you first have to wade through Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, Florida and LSU.

A strange and eerie silence has fallen over the Internet in the State of Virginia since yesterday. This was finally going to be the year that Virginia Tech was going to take that final step and win it all. With their Heisman trophy candidate QB Logan Thomas leading the way, Hokie faithful were sure that this year the magic would come. Frank Beamer would finally have a trophy to put in that famously empty box in Blacksburg. Tech fans would finally see their team win a game against a quality opponent in January.

Maybe next year.

If I Were Secretary of State....

Going for an MRI on my shoulder this morning. That's right, on a Saturday morning. Who ever heard of having medical procedures on the weekend? Aren't the weekends supposed to be MRI-free? Stupid shoulder. Stupid rotator cuff tear. Psshhtt...and get this, it's my left shoulder. How does a right-hander tear his left rotator cuff? I've done no heavy lifting, I've not been overworked by my manager by being asked to throw 130 pitches in two consecutive starts. "So, Doc, how could this have happened", I asked my doctor incredulously. "Doug, you're 54 and active. Normal wear and tear my friend. If you were a fat slob who sat around on the sofa eating cheese-puffs all day this would never have happened."  I stared blankly at him, at a loss for words. Then he offered this, " Yeah, I know. Pretty ironic, huh?"

After my "procedure", I intend to give my dog a rigorous bath, maybe go for a run, do a little yard work. Then after lunch, I'll settle in front of the TV and watch the unraveling of United States power and prestige in the Middle East. The spectacle will be bitter sweet. On the one hand, no patriotic American can possibly enjoy seeing their flag and name literally dragged ablaze through the streets. And yet if the ultimate end of this results in America withdrawing all financial aid and military encumbrances from that hell-hole, we will be much better for it. If the Arab world thinks that America is their problem, let them learn of the wonders and benefits of Soviet or Chinese hegemony. I'm sure the Arab street will be thrilled with the atheistic inclinations of their new sugar daddies. Personally I can't think of a greater example of cosmic justice than to have the middle east overrun with communist party apparatchiks. Let them deal with the honor/shame culture oddities, the 2000 year old hatreds. Let them pour billions of their national treasures down the sink hole of grievance that is the Middle East.

But Doug, you say, what about Israel? OK, what about them? They are an independent nation that has proven to be more than capable of defending themselves against their barbarian neighbors. We can still give them military hardware. They are an ally after all. But the days of us being led around by the nose by every wind of hatred that blows through Jerusalem are and should be over. But Doug, what about the oil? We've got plenty of oil right here and it's high time we developed it. Let's once and for all remove the only weapon the Arab world has ever had against the west. Let them sell their oil to the Chinese and learn to run and maintain their refineries by themselves. If we need to import some oil, I prefer the Canadians since they have no history of flying planes into our buildings. Plus, they gave the world those awesome round slabs of bacon. Why not buy oil from neighbors like that?

I will now take a shower and head over to St. Marys, and brace myself for a deluge of responses to this blog pointing out how any nation that isn't a friend of Israel is forever doomed by God.

Freedom of Speech vs. Muslim Hurt Feelings

Something terrible and exceedingly rare happened this week. In the 236 year history of our nation, we have lost only 6 ambassadors in the line of duty.  Number 6 came earlier this week when a mob of angry Muslims stormed the American consulate in Benghazi, killing Chris Stevens and 3 others. Although the most recent information suggests a more complicated narrative, the original reason given for the violence was the wounded feelings of the Muslim faithful over an Internet movie deemed blasphemous to Islam and the Prophet Muhammad. One of the promoters of the film was the notorious Muslim-hating Florida preacher Terry Jones, the same guy who caused a furor awhile ago with the staged burning of the Koran. Some thoughts...

I'm not going to lie, every time I see this Jones knucklehead on television, my humanity goes into the fetal position. Only in America can such an uncredentialed hack rise to such a position of influence and notoriety. Any idiot with an Internet connection has the potential for out sized mischief, and 15 minutes of fame. The fact that Jones styles himself as a "Christian minister" is what causes me the most embarrassment, proving once again that the biggest enemy of Christianity are and have always been...Christians. The true heroes of my faith are the men and women who daily take up their crosses and follow the commands of Jesus to be salt and light in the world, doing so in complete anonymity, far away from cameras and accolades. But let some Dog The Bounty Hunter look-a-like with an IQ of 50 stage a Koran burning, and every news organization on the planet practically kill each other trying to get an exclusive.

But this is America. We have a constitution, and in it there is a Bill Of Rights which guarantees us, among other things, freedom of speech. It not only protects important, uplifting, intelligent speech, but also protects the bloviating ramblings of idiots. It is part of the mixed blessing of democracy. Although Jones has a constitutionally protected right to his ignorant ravings, the rest of us have an equal right to shame him back into the cave that he crawled out of. WE have that right, but not the state. Freedom of Speech is one of the things that define who we are as Americans, and yet, in the wake of the murder of Ambassador Stevens, I'm hearing disturbing talk from some of the talking heads in Washington, talk about whether or not an exception should be made in this case. Do we as Americans really, in fact, have a right to "hurt the feelings" of 1.6 billion Muslims around the world?

Yes. We do. We have the right essentially because to carve out an exception for Muslim feelings, would render our constitution meaningless. What is it about Muslims that make their feelings more valuable than say the feelings of Hindus or Buddhists? If we as a nation go down this road, then there are an awful lot of writers, directors and producers in Hollywood who have a lot of explaining to do about their depictions of Christianity over the past 30 years. When Christians are daily portrayed as knuckle-dragging simpletons and slack-jawed bigots in movies and television, the reaction of Christians has largely been limited to letter-writing campaigns, ill-conceived boycotts, and resigned indifference. Can't recall the last time a mob  of angry Baptists stormed Warner Brothers studio looking to murder a couple of executive producers. Seems to me that if Islam wants to be considered a great religion, it needs to put on some big-boy pants and learn how to deal with criticism. Our Bill of Rights doesn't need to be tweaked to accommodate any one's hurt feelings, let alone the religion whose adherents flew airplanes into the World Trade Center. Do those terrorists represent all of Islam? Certainly not. Neither does Terry Jones represent Jesus Christ.

9/11 Memories

Time is a strange thing. When I sat staring at the clock in my 7th grade math class it seemed to stand still. But when summer finally came, the days would race by like a series of comets blazing out across the sky. So it is with 9/11. It's been 11 years since the towers fell.  On that day my children were middle schoolers, my wife was still in her thirties and my mother had 11 years to live. It doesn't seem possible.

I remember exactly where I was when I saw the first images...my office on Glen Forest Drive. There was a small television on my desk. At first we watched in horror and mostly silence except for whispered prayers of "God help us...". By the time the second tower came down our mood had changed. Anger and righteous indignation replaced fear and helplessness the minute we realized that this was no accident, that we were under attack. It seems like an eternity since that day, that feeling.

Back then we were all sure that this was only the first wave, that there would be many more equally devastating attacks. We all gathered our families close, but a second wave never came. Now the legacy of that day is the annoyance we feel in line at the airport watching grandmothers and 6 year olds getting patted down by grim TSA people in cheap uniforms.

There's finally something at ground zero. After years of enviornmental impact studies and turf wars and bureaucratic incompetence there's a memorial that cost $700 million to build and will cost $60 million a year to operate. In 1972 it cost $400 million to build the towers, now it cost almost twice that to build a hole in the ground. Such is progress.

On this day I will say a prayer for the families who lost loved ones. I will remember what it felt like. I will once again watch that horrible footage. But luckily for me I will also think about my big sister Linda, who was born on 9/11. The blessing of her life and her powerful presence in the life of my family will always redeem this day. The celebration of her life will for all time balance the scales and brighten the dark sky that history has placed on September 11th.

How To Survive The Election

Now that the country has endured two political conventions, the campaign has officially begun. Everything that has happened over the past 18 months of primaries, caucuses and debates was all prelude and doesn't matter now. Thirty percent of the American people probably couldn't tell you who the candidates are, and probably at least twenty percent of them couldn't pick Joe Biden out of a lineup. Luckily for our Republic, most of these people won't bother to vote. This is a very good thing.

From the days of Plato through the imaginations of Jefferson and Madison runs one common theme. For democracy to function properly there must be an informed and enlightened citizenry. If the "man on the street" interviews conducted outside the two convention sites these past few weeks are any indication, we are doomed. Earnest men and women eagerly offered opinions on what ails the country. "The President needs to pass a law that outlaws corporate profits." one woman suggested. Put aside the fact that the President doesn't "pass laws" since that's the job of Congress, what would this woman have the President offer in the place of corporate profits,...corporate losses?

For those of you who consider yourself conservative, who have a generally negative view of government and long for the days of Calvin Coolidge, these next two months are going to be long and frustrating. I offer the following tips for surviving the 2012 Presidential Election with your sanity intact.


1. Stop complaining about media bias. It has always been so. The press loved FDR, Kennedy, and Clinton every bit as much as they love Obama. Even though they hated Nixon, Reagan and both Bushes, those guys won seven elections despite a hostile press. Journalists are inherently liberal and they always will be. Get over it.

2. Even though there are a percentage of democrats who are genuinely Marxists and many who are socialists, most of them are neither. They just disagree with you about the role of government in society. That doesn't make them horrible people. Don't define an entire political party by their extremes. Remember that among the republicans there are a percentage who are unrepentant bigots. Recall how outraged you feel when you are lumped in with those people by media types. Please, a little good faith goes a long way.

3. Stop trying to make the case that if you're a real Christian you can't possibly vote for a democrat. This is foolishness on steroids. Yes, the democratic party embraces positions that go against biblical teaching like abortion and gay-marriage. But there are many democrats who don't believe in either of those things and still vote for the democratic candidate, many of them faithful Christians. I see on Facebook all the time posts that talk about how they can't possibly understand how any Christian could vote for a democrat. Really? I can easily understand how a Christian with a deeply held commitment to the downtrodden of this world might vote for a democrat. Frankly, it would be quite natural for a Christian concerned with the fate of the poor, sick, disabled, widowed and orphaned might be drawn to a political party known for policies that provide government subsidies for such people.I personally can make the case that those very same programs do more harm than good to the people they are intending to help, but to suggest that Christians who support democrats are somehow apostates is ridiculous and insulting. I'm against capital punishment on the grounds that giving the power of life and death to something as corruptible as our justice system is a usurpation of vengeance belonging to God alone. Does that make me a bad Christian because I support a political party that is in favor of capital punishment? No, it makes me a pragmatic citizen trying to make the best I can of a bad and flawed choice. I take the good with the bad, just like my fellow believers on the other side of the aisle.

4. Enjoy Joe Biden. What a Godsend. That this fool of a man could rise to such a place is exhibit A in the argument against career politicians. If Obama wins, all Christians should place the president's continued good health at the top of our prayer list.

5. As the election nears and it appears that Obama will win reelection, let not your heart be troubled. During an election, the power and importance of politics gets blown out of proportion. On November 7th, my life will go on it's merry way no matter who wins. I will not quit my job, sell all my worldly possessions and move to Montana...and neither will you. We will all survive, yes, even four more years of Obama. I am the captain of my own ship, the occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue does not set my course.

 

The NFL And Me

I have a weird relationship with professional football. I have been a fan all of my life, although baseball has always been my favorite sport. I have always been interested in the NFL and reasonably fond of the game. But I've never been all in for a particular team. Sometimes I secretly envy those die-hard Redskins or Cowboys fans their zeal and passion. I've always had favorite players but never a favorite team. In the early days I was crazy about Roman Gabriel which meant that I followed his team, the Rams. After that it was Joe Namath and the Jets. Weird thing was, although I really loved Walter Peyton, I never cared for the Bears. Well, its 2012 and nothing has really changed. There are several players I really like and want to see do well but I could care less about the fortunes of their respective teams. The players I like and root for are as follows in no particular order:

Tim Tebow

Russell Wilson

Robert Griffin III


I love Tebow because he's the most exciting, unpredictable player in the game. I love how almost all of the "smart people " in the game think he's a terrible QB. I love that he has a crappy throwing motion. I love that his statistics are awful. But what I really love is his uncanny ability to elevate his game in crunch time, his will to win, and his unfailing great attitude.

Russell Wilson is the local kid who made good. Everywhere he has ever played he's been a winner and a terrific leader. It's about time that great men who just happen to be great athletes get some attention. Russell Wilson is a gentleman and a roll model for just about anyone. He also has the distinction of being the only current NFL player to ever bean my son in a little league game! True story!

My fondness and respect for Robert Griffin III stems from the fact that he seems like another stellar citizen. I know that he's a Christian and a guy who plays the game the right way. But I must confess to mixed feelings on this guy. While I wish him nothing but the best, I truly detest his team. I have no idea why, but I have always loathed the Skins. It makes no sense. They are my local team. Growing up, all of my friends were in the tank for the burgundy and gold. Maybe it's the contrarian in me, but I've always rooted against them, from Billy Kilmer to Rex Grossman. So, the best possible outcome I can hope for is the Skins going 6-10 and RGIII winning rookie of the year!

OK, week one predictions..your winners are...

Bears
Eagles
Patriots
Rams
Falcons
Vikings
Saints
Bills
Texans
Packers
Seahawks
Panthers
Steelers





 

Fascinated By Forgiveness

Forgiveness fascinates me. I consider it evidence for the existence of God. It is the divine spark that sets humans apart from the rest of creation. Forgiveness is the thing, not opposable thumbs. I believe this because I find forgiveness nowhere else in the natural world. Dogs don't forgive cats. Squirrels don't forgive dogs. Sharks never forgive sharks. On the vast plains of the Serengeti you will find not one scintilla of forgiveness. Never will the wildebeest and the lion sit down over a beer and let bygones be bygones.

Despite a thousand sermons extolling the virtues of forgiveness, we all find two things to be true . . .we do not forgive easily, and we do not find ourselves easily forgiven.

Forgiveness is not without it's problems. Maybe the great philosopher Immanuel Kant had it right when he said that a person should be forgiven only if he or she deserves to be. Some people feel insulted when victims of violence or horrific crimes forgive their tormentors in court because it cheapens their sense of justice. Maybe some sins are not ours to forgive. Besides, I can think of a hundred reasons not to forgive. He needs to be taught a lesson. If I offer easy forgiveness to her it will only encourage more irresponsible behavior. Why should I forgive them when they're not even sorry? Shakespeare said it best in the Merchant of Venice when the guilty Shylock is asked in court. . . "How shalt thou hope for mercy, rendering none?"

And yet, this unique human ability, if we could warm to it, could sure solve a lot of our problems. Can you imagine what the world would be like if Red Sox fans could just forgive Yankee fans for that whole Babe Ruth thing? Or how about the Jews and the Palestinians sitting down over coffee and forgiving each other for all the land stealing and terrorism? Maybe it would even be possible for Democrats and Republicans to forgive each other for all of the dirty tricks and campaign commercials that have been aired over the last fifty years. On a more personal level and of much greater importance, how different would our lives be if we were able to forgive those we love for the daily annoyances, the emotional scar tissue that builds up over slights and harsh words. If we could find it within us to forgive that stuff as it happens, a daily wiping clean of the slate...."forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us"...

Most of us prefer the Serengeti.