Remember show and tell? Back when I was in
elementary school we would have show and tell every Monday morning, whereby we
might be called on to share with the class some interesting thing we had done
over the weekend. We would always have a special vacation edition show and tell
after spring break. “Johnnie, tell the class what you did over break!”
Well, I will spare all of you the “show” part since
it would involve highly personal photographs of various parts of my body with
giant gashes and bruises. Instead, I will attempt to describe yesterday’s
events for you with as little anger and resentment as possible, trying my best
to keep the whining to a minimum.
I started my day with disciplined intentions. Since
I had spent two full days eating enough food for three people, I purposed to
start my day with a brisk run. I began at a fine pace, feeling rather cocky
since my four days a week workout regime over the past five years has left me
extremely fit. I ran down Beaucain road as it curled around the lake and made the
long uphill climb to the intersection with route 52 with barely a deep breath.
I turned left and began the miles long trek up the east side of majestic
Megunticook Lake.
1. Then
I pulled a hammy.
I wasn’t a severe pull, more like an annoying
twinge. I slowed down, then walked for a while, starting up again a quarter
mile later. Yep, I had pulled my left hamstring. No big deal though. Sure, it
would hurt a little for a few days and be mildly irritating, but I was on
vacation and a simple pulled muscle wasn’t going to get me down.
After breakfast of this gloriously beautiful day, we
all decided that we would hike the Maiden’s Cliff trail up to the top of the
huge 800 foot wall of rock across the lake from our house. Our handy trail
guide described the trip as a 30 minute frolic over a gently sloping pebble lined
footpath. After the torrential rains of Monday, it might be a little wet, but
the views sounded fantastic.
Thirty minutes into this adventure we not only weren’t
at the summit, we had yet to find any pebbles, or for that matter any footpath.
What we had found was a jagged canyon
with ginormous boulders scattered across a “trail” that had it not been for
blue marks painted on trees and rocks every fifty feet, we would still be wandering around up there.
Paula and Ron were gassed, and since both of them have metal rods in their
recently surgically repaired ankles, decided wisely to turn back. Pam and I,
rather smugly I must confess, decided to venture on to the top. We were rewarded
with a fabulous panoramic view of mountains, lake and ocean. We picked and ate
blackberries raspberries and blueberries that grew wild along the flat rocks.
However, it must be said that despite the beautiful view, we were not at our advertised destination. No
800 foot cliffs, just a bunch of very confusing signs that pointed off in
conflicting directions with arrows and mileage. “Mount Megunticook Trail…2.5
miles. Maidens Cliff trail 0.8 miles. Wait, the sign we passed 0.5 miles ago
said it was only 0.3 miles! Pam and I decided to take a different trail back
down the mountain, since neither of us could imagine going down the same way we
came up. Five minutes into our descent I…
2. …placed
my right foot on some dead leaves on a giant boulder which sent my feet flying
upward and slammed me down hard on my lower back and ass with a resounding
thud.
By the time Pam had shimmied down the rock and
gotten to me, I had recovered a little bit of composure, but I had an ugly
gash/bruise on my lower back, a skinned up elbow and a marble-sized knot on my
butt!
Back at the cabin everything was cleaned up,
Neosporin was applied, ice applied in all of the appropriate places, and soon
this too, was shrugged off.
They say that bad stuff happens in threes. Well,
after a delicious lunch, and despite a very sore ass, launched out in the kayak
over the still water having put the days’ mishaps behind me. After a relaxing
thirty minutes of peaceful solitude, I pulled the kayak up onto our grassy yard
and decided to join Pam out on our float. I began walking down the dock plank
and just as I reached the place where the dock is attached to the float I…
3. Heard
a horrible snapping noise. Then, in super slow motion I watched the dock tear
itself away from the float and crash into the water. I began to fall and the
entire weight of the fall was absorbed by my right knee and shin as a jagged
and rotting board gave way and my knee lodged into the edge of the float.
Somehow, I avoided being thrown into the water, but the knee and shin were
pretty badly bruised and skinned up.
So, now I have a limp
to go along with an only partially functioning backside. Pictures to follow.
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