Sunday, July 20, 2014

A Dark Day at PETA


I normally don’t spend a lot of time in this space talking about the latest shenanigans in the Middle East, mostly because it is so unbearably boring and predictable. The Israelis vs The Palestinians are to the geopolitical world what the “terrible twos” are to child rearing, both inevitable and infuriating. The only difference is that with kids, they eventually grow up. Not so in the Middle East. So the rest of the world has to put up with their interminable adolescence.

However, something happened while we slept that is worthy of note, as it may help turn the tide of public opinion.

Generally speaking, the world press treats an Israeli/Palestinian conflict like this:

-         Peaceful yet fed up Palestinian people “rise up” against their Jewish oppressors by lobbing a few harmless rockets into some random hillside and the war mongering Jewish state completely overreacts by launching a full scale military invasion of the Gaza Strip, resulting in the deaths of thousands of children. Every reporter on the ground in Gaza shows up at hospitals and begins interviewing the injured toddlers. Great pains are taken by these intrepid film crews not to show the rocket launchers in the corner of these hospitals rooms, which might make for inconsistent optics and confusion among the viewers. At the end of each piece, footage is shown of riots taking place in the streets of New York, Paris and London in support of the suffering children and against the Fascist Israeli state.

All of the beautiful people of the world are always in agreement. The Jews are killers and the Palestinians are innocent victims. In another world and in another time, this used to be called “anti-Semitism.” Now, it’s called liberal consensus.

But, I have a feeling that the tide may be turning. Cracks may begin to be seen in the united front of progressive, enlightened thought. For, overnight came word that Hamas, the governing power in Gaza, has resorted to using “suicide donkeys.” That’s right, perfectly innocent animals have been enlisted as weapons of mass destruction...no wait, should it be "ass" destruction? The traditional “beast of burden” has now been employed to carry the ultimate burden, one hundred pounds of bombs. This follows reports of dogs similarly engaged, but never documented, in the second intifada. As of 6:25AM, no official statement has been forthcoming from PETA, but a press conference has been scheduled for later in the day, and one source inside the animal rights organization has described the denunciation of Hamas that is to come as “blistering.”

“You know, it’s one thing to strike out blindly at your Zionist oppressors and all, I mean, I get it,” said the highly placed source. “But you start strapping bombs around donkeys, well…that’s just beyond the pale.”

If PETA can be turned, one has to wonder what traditionally leftist organization may follow? Might powerful Teachers Unions in America object to Hamas using the roofs of schools for their anti-aircraft batteries? Might Humanists organizations tire of Hamas soldiers constantly yelling “God is great” every five minutes? Right now the situation is quite fluid, but from where I sit, the Palestinian cause may finally have gone a bridge too far.

Time will tell.






 [Ma1]ass