Officially in the Fall-Zone

Falling as an adult is quite the humiliating experience. You are busy with your day walking along the sidewalk in front of your office when suddenly you find yourself on the ground wondering what the hell happened. All you’re sure of is the fact that your hand is bleeding, your sweater is dirty and your ribs are sore. Lucky for you, nobody witnessed the event. You got up quickly, took a casual inventory of the situation and proceeded to make your way into your office bathroom to clean up your hand. As falls go, this one was relatively harmless. However, it does beg the question—is this the first of many? Probably. The calendar doesn’t lie. At 66 I’m told that I am entering the fall zone, that charming season of life where socks become tripping hazards, where the smallest stone can send you face first into the gardenias, and excessive house dust might send you ass over tea kettle down the stairs.

This, being the first adult fall of my retirement years, caught me off guard and honestly kind of hurt my feelings. This is now how I perceive myself or my physical capabilities. Tripping over virtually nothing on a sidewalk isn’t the sort of thing that happens to me frequently or…ever. My wife famously took a dive while we were in Maine last year resulting in a broken wrist, but that was a one off, Pam being one of the most buttoned up non-fallers of all time. Matter of fact in our 40 years together I can only remember one other time when she fell. Now that I think about it, that fall should have been a harbinger of sorts for the both of us since we both fell that day. We were on a beautiful walk from Camden to Rockport along the rugged Maine coastline when suddenly Pam went sprawling on the ground in front of me. She came through the event embarrassed but unscathed. I was quite solititous of her well being in the moments afterwards but then couldn’t help but laugh. She scolded me for doing so, as I recall. But then, not fifteen minutes later it was my turn. I went flying in front of her but hopped straight up afterwards sending her into uncontrolled fits of laughter. There was no, “Honey are you alright??” Just a lot of pointing and hysterical belly laughs—-“I’m not laughing at you, but if you could have seen yourself!!!”

 So, I guess now I will have to place —Strive to remain upright while walking—on my to-do list every day. Fabulous…