My Dreaded Medicare Call

Made the dreaded call to Medicare yesterday. After being handed off to three different departments and being on hold for 18 minutes, finally Dave’s voice came on the line identifying himself as a member of the fraud team. I knew immediately that I was in competent hands…

Dave: Mr. Dunnevant, first of all thanks for your patience. Secondly, you will not be handed off to anyone else on this call. The buck stops with me.

Me: Uh..wait…thanks?

Dave: I have pulled up the bill in question for five months of “incontinence supplies” and something tells me that you have never had the need for, much less used 200 catheters every single month since May…am I right?

Me: Yes!

Dave: This will not make you feel any better but you are not the first person I have talked to about this particular scam. We have had a rash of incontinence bills of late and are slowly making our way through them. This particular provider is no longer approved by Medicare.

Me: Do 200 catheters really cost $2090?

Dave: I have no idea what they cost. Medicare fraud types care little about the niceties of pricing. They just make prices up. You’ll notice that we paid the first five months of these bills but caught it in October and declined it.

Me: Actually, I didn’t notice that. But what about the other five months? It says here that you paid for those and this latest bill I got says that my share is $1247.

Dave: Mr. Dunnevant, I can assure you that you will not pay for anything associated with this bill. After we finish the investigation you will receive a final bill showing all of these transactions being voided out.

Me: When will that happen?

Dave: In about six months.

Me: So this doctor in Bristol, Connecticut and his fake company have made off with over $10,000 of taxpayer money?

Dave: Just from this one case. Yes. I’m sure there are hundreds more. But we will eventually find and prosecute those responsible.

By this time, my admiration for Dave and his professionalism has peaked. I remembered what my Dad used to tell me when I was a kid—“Son, whenever you can be an encourager.”

Me: Look Dave, I’ve only been on Medicare since April of last year but before this unfortunate incident I have been thrilled with the program. You guys have saved me a lot of money and handled every single claim quickly. So, I’m grateful.

Dave: Thank you, Mr. Dunnevant. For every one compliment like yours I get nine complaints from people who think Medicare sucks because it won’t pay for their gym membership!

So, say a prayer for my man Dave as he tracks down our money that has been stolen by some asshole in Connecticut