Ok, there are times in life when things happen that cause you to doubt even the existence of God, let alone his goodness. On the other hand, sometimes you feel so close to him, his presence so palpable that you can’t imagine why anyone would deny his existence. Such is the life of faith, some days are better than others. With Pam Cole over the past 14 months I’ve experienced a lot of both. There have been days when her optimism and faithfulness have been about the most inspiring thing I’ve ever seen. But, then I will hear of some almost cruel turn in her condition, insults piled on top of injury, and it infuriates me. A few days ago I witnessed both the agony and the ecstasy of her journey in one fifteen minute text conversation.
She had been having a rough couple of weeks. Getting COVID had been a low point in a season of lows. It wiped her out physically while the isolation from her grandchildren had crushed her spirit. She had vented her frustration to me on several occasions. Since such venting has been extremely rare, I took note of it. So she wakes up one morning recently with a urinary tract infection, as if she needed one more damn thing to deal with. She tells me this very matter of factly, as if she thought it was totally the sort of thing she expected would happen to her, acting like it was no big deal. “What’s a little blood in the urine when you’re fighting cancer??” I said nothing, but in my heart a storm of anger was brewing. I’m thinking...Are you freaking kidding me, God?? I attempt to change the subject with, So, what do you have planned for today? Below, I paraphrase her answer...
“Nothing special...I’m gonna go to the store later to buy a couple of cards for some friends of mine who have cancer. There’s a lady who is a friend and client of mine who had cancer years ago and all of a sudden its come back, and a guy I went to high school with has lung and bone cancer. Both of them are gonna have trouble driving spouses all the way to Charlottesville and back for treatment so I was thinking I would send them some gas money...”
Then a bit later...
“Just trying to be a good steward. Feeling very annoyed today, Just getting over Covid and now a UTI. Never ending. So I really need to spread some cheer to some people today...I know the Lord loves me and that he cares for me. I know that he has a plan for all of this. Tired of being sick but it is what it is.”
Her last chemo treatment is this Friday. She will get to ring the bell at the treatment center up in Charlottesville. I would like to mark the occasion in a meaningful way. Many of you have been blessed by her story, by her lion hearted courage, good humor, and the power of her faith. If so, maybe you could send her a get well card, letting her know just how much of a blessing she has been. I will collect them at my office and then send them all to her in a box. Mail your cards to me at my office:
Doug Dunnevant
3761 Westerre Parkway
Suite C
Richmond, Virginia 23233
Thank you in advance for your kindness.
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