Lucy’s Complaint

I try hard not to be drama queen. Hard when I live in booby-trapped house with my humans. Every day find new horror. It not enough that humans not concerned with out of control ceiling fan, trash can, peoples walking just outside of house with small doggers. They not see ghosts that live in corners of every room in house! Every day they walk down scary stairs without caution and expect me to follow them! Not in million years...I must first inspect condition of stair, check light and condition of wind like any self respect dogger. Well, this morning come latest crazy...

I come down for breakfast and not believe what I see. I stop short even though I hungry. I think...is this joke? Human think weird things funny sometime. I look around but nobody laughing. I take closer look. What fresh cat hell is this? Human has put kibble in...water bowl!! I make closer inspect. No two ways about...they have put kibble in water bowl and expect me to eat it. To make matter worst they compound foolish by putting water in kibble bowl!! Chip in very wrong place. Make it impossible to eat without grave worry. Do they not see problem?? I so hungry I could eat cat, but make no difference. Too much danger. Human plead with me to eat. Easy for her to say. Her not eating food out of wrong bowl!

Eventually, I summon courage of ancestors to endure wrong bowl fiasco. Human try very hard...but honestly!!