Surgery Postponed. I ramp Up My Joke Game.

Ok, so yesterday was supposed to be the day that my friend had her long anticipated surgery. Unfortunately, her body wouldn’t cooperate. She just hasn’t recovered enough from the chemo to endure major surgery yet. Something about platelets and neutrophils being too low. Needless to say, she was disappointed. But after venting about the unfairness of it all for five minutes, she began to see the wisdom in waiting just a couple weeks until she is stronger and her body is better able to endure such an operation. In other words, she wallowed in bitterness and self pity just long enough to remind me that she is human, then righted the ship and began to be thankful for God’s blessings once again. “I’m just trusting God, Doug. He’s got this.”

What was my contribution to her predicament? I reminded her that because the surgery got put off for three weeks, that meant that she was guaranteed three more weeks of my awesome jokes. If there was such a thing as a gun to the head eye roll emoji, she would have used it! 

Well, because of her spiritual insights to the news, I decided to go with a few religious-themed jokes:

What did the atheist say upon dying and meeting God?

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.

She made it clear that she wasn’t about to tolerate any nun scents.

Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter.

She went down to the Bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Who was the greatest male financier in the Bible? Noah.

He floated his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Why are there so many old people in church?

They’re cramming for the finals.

After she read these jokes she called the emergency 911 hospital number to she if they could slip her in this weekend!