When I saw that Rolling Stone magazine had written
a story about UVA I didn’t know what to think. There was a time when I read
Rolling Stone, mostly back when P.J. O’Rourke wrote travel articles for them.
But ever since I and Rolling Stone stopped caring about Rock and Roll, I
stopped caring about Rolling Stone.
I saw it first on my nephew’s Facebook wall and
then discovered that it was everywhere. It was a long and well written piece
about a freshman who goes to a frat party, gets gang raped and then literally
nothing happens. I won’t repeat all of the article here. I’ll just assume that
you’ve read it. But if you haven’t, do yourself a favor and take the time to
read the piece…now.
First of all, as someone who has attended a few
frat parties back in the day, I should point out that UVA is certainly not
unique when it comes to frat-boy debauchery. Although I never witnessed, let
alone participated in, anything approaching the happenings at Phi Kappa Psi,
there were stories. On one occasion there were photographs. Back then even as a
fun-loving, thrill-seeking 20 year old, they were sickening. Today, as a
father, I am enraged.
The part of the article that has done the enraging
isn’t the actual crime as much as the reaction to the crime by the victims'
three “friends.” After finding their friend, who had just been repeatedly raped
for over 3 hours by a cowardly band of eight attackers, their biggest concern
isn’t for her safety and protection. No, no. They stand there beside their
shaking traumatized friend and contemplate what this might mean for future
invitations to frat parties for them if they actually take her to the
hospital and report this attack to the authorities! Later in the story, after
our victim has spent weeks isolating herself from everyone in her dorm, a girl
is quoted offering this terrifying opinion, “You’re still upset about that? Why
didn’t you just have fun with it…all those hot Phi Kappa Psi guys?”
Civilization, culture, polite society, are words we
use to describe what we like to think is a more enlightened existence than our
forbearers in less advanced times had to endure. In truth, these words serve as
a thin veneer with which we paint over the ugliness of our hearts. We flatter
ourselves by thinking that human beings have evolved beyond paganism. What I
read in that article was essentially describing the lawless, hedonistic pursuit
of pleasure fancied up in pearls.
There exists nowhere in the mind of any rational
person an excuse for this type of behavior. If I hear one more dissertation
about how the girl should have known what she was getting herself into, or
those boys were just acting out what they see in pornography, I’m going to
throw up. Oh, the poor, confused young things! Bullshit. No one in that dark
room at the Phi Kappa Psi frat house was confused about anything. They knew
exactly what they were doing and also that they would get away with it. Virginia’s
finest.
People today roll their eyes whenever anyone starts
talking about morality and virtue, as if these things no longer have a place in
our newly liberated, values-free culture whose only surviving virtue seems to
be tolerance. But perhaps it might be time to revisit centuries old
virtues like honor and respect. Maybe it’s a mistake to cast the word judgmental
on the scrap heap of history. I make no apologies for being judgmental. I have
looked at the behavior of these frat boys and I am ready to declare my judgment
that they are worthless pagans who should all be sentenced to life in prison
for what used to be called “rape” in this country.
We need to stop kidding ourselves. Our advanced civilization…is neither
advanced, nor civil.
Thanks for writing this, Doug. I am a proud alumna of the University of Virginia (as you well know), but this whole thing sickens me (and countless of my fellow alumni) to the core. It's shameful and disturbing that the University's emphasis on tradition, one that we have exhibited in many positive ways, seems to have inadvertently fostered this dark, ugly underground of violence and inhumanity. I was never even kind of close to the Greek system at UVA. I had a few friends who were in frats and sororities, but the whole thing always kind of repulsed me. The idea of having to purchase one's place in some small society, only to be required to check off some laundry list of social expectations? Well, that's just not how I roll, I guess. Over the course of my four years there, I attended a whopping TWO frat parties, for maybe a total of an hour and a half combined (I stayed at my first frat party for 20 minutes before deciding that I passionately hated being there, and the other I spent basically shadowing two very trusted, longtime male friends and not talking to anybody else). After reading this article, I really felt lucky to have avoided that culture almost entirely--the fact that these disgusting, brutal hazing rituals even existed was legitimately shocking to me. A bunch of my college friends and I were talking about it this weekend--in reading this article written about OUR beloved alma mater, we all felt betrayed in some way, like we had just found out a dark, dirty secret about a person we thought we knew, like the wife who discovers her husband has a second family somewhere. I felt lucky that I got out unscathed. But above all, I think I felt lucky that if I hadn't been so lucky, if I had been the girl emerging from that house bloodied and beaten and debased in the most vile way possible, I would have had real friends to turn to, people who would have given life and limb to help me in healing and to give me the courage to fight for justice. My heart hurts for this girl and for many others who came before and, unfortunately but undoubtedly, for many that will follow. I am glad that it seems the University community is crying out for systemic change, but I wonder a bit if it will be too little, too late, if the UVA Greek system (perhaps the Greek system at large?) is too far gone. I guess time will tell.
ReplyDeleteBless your heart Jessica.
ReplyDelete