Wednesday, July 19, 2017

My Wife's Birthday

Last year we were in Maine for Pam's birthday. Most years we are at the beach when the big day comes. This year, its after returning from the beach, on a Wednesday, and its yoga night. She's busy with a thousand things, and since it's the first week back after vacation, so am I. It won't be a big party night, but that's not to say that I don't have plans. I've got a few things up my sleeve.

Five years ago, I wrote a post about my wife on the occasion of her 50th birthday...here. All of it is still true. If anything, it's all more true now than it was then. With each passing year she becomes a better person, if that is even possible. I don't think it is with most people, especially me. As I get older I find myself becoming less patient, less compassionate, less kind. It's something I have to fight against, this hardening of my spirit. But with Pam it seems she has turned aging on its head. She has somehow found a way to become more patient, more compassionate, and kinder with the passage of time. I don't know anyone who loves new things more than her. While some of us resist trying new things, she thrives on it. It's one of the things that keep her young. That, and the ridiculous genes she was born with that make her look thirty years younger than everybody else her age. 









I fell in love with this woman 35 years ago. I'm still in love with her. Who wouldn't be?

Monday, July 17, 2017

Back...

Back to work.

Back to responsibility. Back to the daily disciplines. Back to accountability. Back to the rigor of a routine.

These are the things you return to after a vacation, the things that you largely abandoned while away, but must pick back up as soon as you get back.

There are hundreds of people counting on me to get back. There will be messages waiting for me, the flashing red light on my credenza.  There will be mail to sort through. There will be a stack of bills to pay. I'll have to quickly find my place, find the exact spot I was when I left, remember what was happening the moment I walked out of the building. Then, I will climb back into the saddle and carry on.

I will ask everyone at the office about any new developments on the DOL front. I will get five or six different stories, none of them definitive, several of them contradictory. 

I will be disoriented for an hour or so. It is always this way after time away. But it's always surprising how quickly everything comes back into focus. Even last year, after a month in Maine, I was up to speed in a couple of days. It was as if I had never left.

There is something oddly comforting about work. Having a place to go and something to do is the great leveler. No matter the weight of responsibility, the thought of not having a profession is a frightening prospect. As much as I worry over the damage done to my mental state by the unrelenting stress of it all, the fact is...part of me needs that stress. I need to be driven out of bed in the morning. I need  people in my life to whom I am answerable. Without them, I could easily go off the rails. I could easily become a self-centered narcissist. 

So, today I'm back...and it's ok.

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

A New App. Let the fun begin....

So, I've got a new app from Blogger. I actually paid money for it...$4.99 to be exact. This is my first post using this new system which is supposed to be far better and more intuitive than my old, outdated version. Unfortunately, this app comes with no special function that will improve the quality of the content found at The Tempest, so settle down out there. But, it advertises itself as a much easier platform for adding pictures and videos into the text of my blog. I won't bore you or embarrass myself by explaining the Rube Goldberg, jack-legged procedure I have been using  to add that sort of thing up until now. Suffice it to say that it was similar to the communication system employed by the ancient Greeks in their battles with the Persians...send a runner through hostile territory with a 30% survival rate, then hope for the best.

But, I'm already confused. It is clear that I will have to sit down with Pam for a couple of hours one night to figure out how to properly use all of the bells and whistles on this thing. I wouldn't have to do this if I had one ounce of patience. Just one lousy ounce! If I can't figure out something computer related in five minutes, I get flustered. Then, I get mad, then embarrassed at my ignorance. Whenever I give Pam some shiny new computer/technology gizmo, she looks at the box with a facial expression which I can only describe as something very close to how she used to look at me when I was 30 years younger and 15 pounds lighter! She literally can't wait to rip the box open and begin the hours and hours and hours of learning how to use it. She rejoices in the glorious trial and error of discovery, the magic of learning all about the inner workings of the latest thing in technology. Me? I want to know how to turn it on, open my email, and find the box scores.

So, I will fumble, bumble, and stumble around with this new app for a few days until I've risen to the highest level of my natural incompetence, then reluctantly plead with my wife to help me. She will...because she is awesome that way. Then, once the scales have been removed from my eyes and I actually know how to productively use this app, I will promise myself to go to her first...next time.


Best Pictures of the Week

My favorite pictures from Dunnevant Beach Week, 2017.

My crew, featuring the leaning tower of Manchester.



Look Jon, I know it's not as easy as checkers, but eventually you'll get the hang of it!



Time for some Putt Putt after a day of doing nothing on the beach.




My wife, thrilled that she spent so much time and effort curling her hair.


                                  

Some idiot brought this monstrosity of a puzzle to the beach for mere mortals to assemble.




Mere mortals gave it their all. 




Patrick, playing Taps on his cellphone at the moment of capitulation.




That moment when it's discovered that the Scotcheroos are all gone.




Ron, before his morning coffee.



Paula: I only watch British television, and hymns are better than choruses 

Pam: I'm not cooking hamburgers and hotdogs again if they pay me a million dollars. 





Two things I never get tired of...Mommy holding me, and being the cutest!

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Beach Week 2017 in the books

Beach Week 2017 is in the books. We made it back in a reasonable amount of time, despite the side trip to the Norfolk Airport to drop Patrick off. A few delays, but no interminable backups. Lucy was pleased to see us, and intrigued by all of the new smells and beguiling aromas we brought back with us.

It was a good week. I enjoyed being with my family. I only gained 4 pounds, probably because of the 15 miles of road work I put in for the week. Had I not done that, I would be on the north side of 200 once again!

One thing is disturbingly clear...Maine has ruined me. Spending a month up there last summer has flat out ruined the beach for me. Let me try to explain.

Our weather over the past seven days was very good for the Outer Banks in July. The only rain we got was at night. Five out of the seven days were mostly sunny. But...man was it hot. The presence of a brisk breeze on the beach almost nonstop didn't help in the slightest. It was like being in the sauna at the gym, only every few minutes you could get up and walk down to the surf to cool off. But, dang was it hot out there. Although Hatteras Island, compared to most beaches on the East coast, is not overrun with vacationers, there were still a lot of other people on the beach. Again, nothing wrong with that at all...but did I mention how hot it was?

By contrast, our month in Maine in July of 2016, featured a gorgeous fresh water lake with our own private dock and float. There was a neighbor on the float next to ours, roughly a football field away, but our only communication with her was a lazy wave of the hand as we kayaked by. Unlike the quarter mile hike up the hot sand mountain required to reach the beach in Waves, the walk to our lake dock was maybe a hundred feet. And although there were a few nights early on that were uncomfortably warm in an air-condition-free house, most nights felt like heaven with the fresh breeze  from the lake drifting through the opened windows. The morning's were actually a bit chilly.

Whenever it rained, which thankfully wasn't often, we would just hop in the car and drive the 15 minutes into Camden and tool around in that fabulous little seaside village, grab some blueberries pancakes, or shop for hidden treasures at the Smiling Cow. We could take a ride on a lobster boat, or take in a play at the local theatre. One thing we never had to do was...make dinner for 18 people on a gas grill that didn't work!

Of course, the Dunnevant Beach Week isn't the same thing as a month in Maine, so it's not fair to compare the two. But, fair or not, once you go there, you can't help but measure everything else that comes afterwards to its standard.

One very cool thing about our Beach Week vacation is the fact that because it only happens every two years, it's fascinating to see how much of a difference those two years makes in the little ones. In 2015 little Evelyn was just a baby, this year she was an adorable princess. Two years ago Ezra would freak out whenever anyone stated singing. This year he was making requests during singing night! Darcy shocked us by how tall she had grown in two short years, and Bennett wore his baseball uniform one night after dinner...is it possible that he is old enough to play baseball?? Generally, it was amazing to watch how well all of them played with each other this year, no where near as many fights and arguments as in years past. They are all growing up and maturing. Two years makes a big difference. We grown ups change too over two years. We are all older, maybe a bit slower. Two years hence we might need more bedrooms. There might be new members added to the family, perhaps a new grandchild. Our beach week vacations serve as measuring sticks, a chance to take pictures and compare them to the ones in the picture albums from 1999 and 2009. But, honestly...someone in this family needs to win the lottery so we can afford to have the thing catered. If I'm asked to make dinner for 21 people on a strange grill again, I might revolt.

In 54 days, Pam, Lucy and I will make the drive to Quantabacook Lake in Searsmont, Maine.

I'm counting the days...

Thursday, July 13, 2017

A Beach Week Scorecard

It occurs to me that many of you might not know everyone in attendance at this Dunnevant Beach Week, 2017. Part of the reason for the confusion might be the fact that this particular event is ill-named, since not everyone here is a Dunnevant. To clear up the confusion, I have composed the following scorecard of all attendees with a brief description of their contributions for the week...

Of course, all of you know the only actual Dunnevant's at Beach Week:

Doug Dunnevant...Commissioner of Pranks, Putt-Putt Champion, Taker of Naps
Pam Dunnevant...Organizer-in-Chief, Placecard Czar
Patrick Dunnevant...Designated Liberal, Hummer of Melodies, Professor of Video Games

My daughter once was a Dunnevant, but now she has lapsed into the wife life and has become:

Kaitlin Manchester...Ruler of South Carolina Middle School ne'er do wells, Whole30 Survivor
Jon Manchester...Mosquito Mogul, Identifier of all life forms coughed up on the beach

Then, there's the Schwartz contingent:

Bill Schwartz...Curator of Puzzles, Elder Statesman
Linda Schwartz...Mimi Maven, Cell Phone Whiz, and Grandchild Magnet

Matt Hawkins...Family Photographer, Undoer of Damage done to children by Uncle Doug
Jenny Hawkins...The Great Sleeping Chef who might not be able to get a decent night's sleep, but has
                            no problem dozing off while preparing a meal for 18

Paul Garland...Pool Monitor, eater of Pizza, Pasta, and nothing else
Christina Garland...Shusher of late night outbursts, Harmony Officer

Ron Roop...Building and Grounds Chairman, Kite Flying Foreman, Official Putzer
Paula Roop...Complaint Organizer, Person most likely to send husband to the store for something
Ryan Roop...Person most likely to end up on a milk carton..."Have you seen This boy? Last seen going for a walk on beach with soccer ball

The kids...

Darcy Hawkins...Soon to be Middle Schooler, Boss of the grandkids, wearer of turbans
Bennett Hawkins...Aspiring Prankster, Instigator of pool fights, up and coming left handed power
                               hitter.
Ezra Garland...Announcer of Intentions in clear, loud voice, Explaner of all things Transformer
Evelyn Garland...Princess of Cuteness, Redhead, Giver of side eye to Uncle Doug

Ok, there you go. That's everybody. So, it's actually the Dunnevant/Manchester/Schwartz/Garland/Hawkins/Roop Beach Week, 2017.

The Weather is here...wish you were beautiful.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Our Turn To Make Dinner

The Dunnevant Beach Week contains a bizarre tradition first started by my mother, who after a particularly trying day had thrown up her hands at the prospect of preparing the evening meal with the now famous exclamation, "I'll be John Brown if I'm making dinner for this bunch of hulligans tonight. Either somebody else makes dinner or they can all starve to death!"  Thus launched the ill-fated let's all take turns making dinner for twenty people at the beach and call it a vacation gambit of 1991. The fact that it survives today is a towering monument to the power of inertia. It has become a permanent feature of this trip...not a bug, a feature! Last night was our turn.

I've got an idea, someone foolishly once said, why don't we just make hamburgers and hotdogs for our meal at the beach? That will be easy. And baked beans...everybody loves baked beans. It will be a cinch!

When financial writers know even less than they normally know about the direction of the stock market...that is to say, when their non-existent crystal ball is more opaque than usual they often trot out that rediculous formulation...the markets are currently struggling for direction. However, this worthless declaration makes--hamburgers and hotdogs will be easy to prepare at the beach--sound like a Princetonian doctoral dissertation. Here's how it all went down...

By 5:00 the situation was well in hand. Pam had everything organized to within an inch of its life. The table was set with fake Fourth of July finery. Pies had been made, secondary dishes were lined up on the huge kitchen island with ruthless assembly line efficiency. All that was left to do was slip the baked beans in the oven and fire up the grill to cook the burgers and dogs. I exited the kitchen out into the deck where the suspiciously new looking gas grill sat, arms loaded down with 16 burgers, 16 dogs, and six brats. The tank was filled with propane. I had a sweating glass of sweet tea in hand and was ready to put my 'Murika face on. I turned the dial counter clockwise, waited for the click, then listened for the whoosh. I took a confident sip of tea, then paused to admire the setting sun as I waited for the grill to heat up.

It was a long wait.

While, the tank was filled with gas, and the four elements all emitted flame, the heat that all of this produced wouldn't have been enough to melt a stick of butter. I could have jumped up on that grill naked without fear of getting burned. After twenty minutes it became clear that if anyone wanted to eat hamburgers and hotdogs this evening, an alternate plan would have to be devised.

Meanwhile, inside the kitchen, the baked beans caper was in full swing. Despite knobs that indicated that the gas oven was fully engaged, the two dishes of beans looked fresh as daisies after twenty minutes in close contact to allegedly fatal temperatures. Perhaps the particular type of gas pumped to this address was of a timid variety, propane which feels guilty for the damage it is doing to the planet and has decided to not cook stuff when asked!! To make Pam's situation worse, here I came marching onto the scene commandeering the entire surface of the stove for the purpose of frying hamburger. The popping, spitting grease storm that ensued made flipping these burgers a test of will, courage and endurance...Stand back..I'm going in!!! Godspeed, man!!

Dinner was eventually served, albeit forty minutes late. Everyone was complimentary. The burgers were actually pretty good. My blood pressure sat an all time record for the systolic reading, Pam's hands eventually stopped shaking, and we both take comfort in the knowledge that we won't have to do this again for two full years!