Monday, July 17, 2017

Back...

Back to work.

Back to responsibility. Back to the daily disciplines. Back to accountability. Back to the rigor of a routine.

These are the things you return to after a vacation, the things that you largely abandoned while away, but must pick back up as soon as you get back.

There are hundreds of people counting on me to get back. There will be messages waiting for me, the flashing red light on my credenza.  There will be mail to sort through. There will be a stack of bills to pay. I'll have to quickly find my place, find the exact spot I was when I left, remember what was happening the moment I walked out of the building. Then, I will climb back into the saddle and carry on.

I will ask everyone at the office about any new developments on the DOL front. I will get five or six different stories, none of them definitive, several of them contradictory. 

I will be disoriented for an hour or so. It is always this way after time away. But it's always surprising how quickly everything comes back into focus. Even last year, after a month in Maine, I was up to speed in a couple of days. It was as if I had never left.

There is something oddly comforting about work. Having a place to go and something to do is the great leveler. No matter the weight of responsibility, the thought of not having a profession is a frightening prospect. As much as I worry over the damage done to my mental state by the unrelenting stress of it all, the fact is...part of me needs that stress. I need to be driven out of bed in the morning. I need  people in my life to whom I am answerable. Without them, I could easily go off the rails. I could easily become a self-centered narcissist. 

So, today I'm back...and it's ok.

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.