Friday, March 17, 2017

A Facebook Critique

I have been an active participant in the social experiment known as Facebook for a very long time now. I find it a fascinating place to interact with large numbers of people. It has allowed me to keep up with hundreds of old acquaintances who otherwise I would have long ago lost contact with. It has delivered a treasure trove of hilarious dog videos to my doorstep, costing me nothing. It has flooded me with a million memes, some hysterical, some simply stupid. It has exasperated me with the often ignorant political musings of people who have never once in their entire lives had to pay an employee and yet profess to know exactly what the minimum wage should be. But hey...that's what Facebook is for, the uninhibited flowering of opinion. Asking those opinions to be informed is asking the impossible. So, I take the bitter with the sweet. For the most part, I thoroughly enjoy my daily excursions onto Mark Zuckerberg's playground.

Having said all of that, there are a few irritants which must be dealt with. Although what irritates me might not irritate you, diversity of irritation being the spice of life and all. But here goes...

The biggest problem with Facebook is that far too many people suffer from the flawed impression that large numbers of people actually give a flying *€#<?! about:

1. What you had for breakfast
2. How tired you are of this bad weather
3. What you had for lunch
4. The fact that you just "checked in" at the Waldorf, Maryland Jiffy Lube
5. What you had for dinner

But, even more annoying than these staples is the dreaded Type "Amen" if you agree declarations that usually come with some sappy picture of a white clapboard country church. Saints preserve us!

Then, the worst of all, and we all have them...that friend starving for affirmation who begins some long screed with the threat, "I'm about to find out who my real friends are," then lays out his or her crisis with the demand that if we are really their friend we will copy and paste said screed onto our  Facebook wall as tribute. Thanks, but there's enough self-absorption run amok in this world without me spreading yours around. Emotional blackmail is no less annoying just because it comes with cute emojis via the internet. Think I'll pass.

But, hey, keep those awesome puppy videos coming, people!!