My Dad used to start conversations with the line, "I never thought I'd live to see the day when..." Since tomorrow is my birthday, it's my turn to give it a try.
I never thought I'd live to see the day when...
1. The Cubs were the consensus preseason pick to win the World Series.
2. I would type the word genderqueer on my blog.
3. A witless, bloviating, filthy rich, congenital liar would be poised to win the Presidential nomination of both American political parties.
4. A police force of a modern democratic state would threaten it's people with a home visit if they were caught saying something unnecessary* and unkind on social media.
5. Dodgeball would be something that adults cared about.
6. I would be handed a six page beer menu at a restaurant.
7. That said menu would contain not one beer that I had ever heard of.
8. The wisdom of the world, all four thousand years of recorded history and the accumulated scientific knowledge of all of civilization could be accessed from a device that fits in my pants pocket.
9. One of the most valuable companies in the world got so by convincing millions of people to pay $4.50 for bitter, acidic coffee.
10. Tattoos would become such a thing for people not in the Navy or members of a motorcycle gang.
Well, that's a decent start. Even though I will turn only 58, another line I heard my Dad say once bears repeating..."If I knew I was gonna live this long I would have taken better care of myself!"
*- note to Scotland policemen...all of social media is unnecessary.