Monday, April 7, 2014

The Next 97 Days


A glance at my calendar for the next three months:

April 11: Attend Flying Squirrels game courtesy of my daughter who purchased prime first base line seats for my birthday.

April 15: Submit 50 page tax return and figure out a way to pay the IRS.

May 11: Celebrate Kaitlin’s 27th birthday with festive dinner at Burger King, since all of my spare change is being consumed by Wedding expenses.

May 17: Attend Patrick’s graduation ceremony from Westminster at the beautiful Princeton chapel where one of the songs will be one of Patrick’s arrangements.

May 18: Flip Mattress

May 19: Celebrate 30th wedding anniversary with good cheer and warm hugs while we remind ourselves that we will actually get to celebrate in August sometime after the Wedding, with a festive dinner at Burger King.

May 25: Celebrate Patrick’s 25th birthday maybe by attending the Spoleto Festival in Charleston, South Carolina where he will be performing, assuming we can afford bus fare down and back.

June 12: Begin final 30 day stretch run of Wedding planning lollapalooza by developing a close working relationship with high end pharmaceutical rep who specializes in “mood altering” drugs. Mike Slagle, call your office!

June 19: Every time one of our friends reminds us that there are only “three weeks until the big day,” remind Pam that it’s just a number and everything will be ok.

June 26: Begin intensive study of weather apps and long range forecasts and no matter what I find, assure Pam that it looks like we are in for a cool down very soon.

July 4: Celebrate nation’s birth with festive meal of saltine crackers and Velveeta, while listening to John Philip Sousa on Pandora, as we enjoy the scorching 98 degree sunshine and soul-crushing humidity that are the last vestiges of a three week long heat wave that according to my weather apps is about to end, ushering in an entire week of “spring-like temperatures.”

July 11: Drive to the rehearsal dinner through gale force winds, golf ball sized hail and lightning bolts that look like they were flashed from King Triton’s trident itself. I remind Pam that this is that long-promised cold front that will usher in the cooler weather just in time for the big day!

July 12: The big day dawns bright and clear, birds chirping happily, temperature expected to top out at 78 glorious degrees. Everyone’s hair looks great as the Wedding goes off without a hitch. All of the expense, planning and late nights were worth it, as Kaitlin walks down the aisle looking like a princess.

July 13: Disappear for a month.