Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Wedding Planning Part IV

Another crucial item has been checked off of our wedding “to do list.” This particular benchmark is a new component of the modern wedding industrial complex, hereafter referred to as simply WIC. New though it may be, I am told it is essential, no modern wedding can be had without it. I refer, of course, to the engagement pictures.

According to WIC protocol, not only must a couple hire a photographer to immortalize the actual wedding for posterity, but the engagement announcement as well. This involves the happy couple walking around in fields of wheat, or sitting in a coffee shop, or simply gazing into one another’s eyes longingly, while their overpriced photographer snaps away. Props are encouraged, so the couple brings emotionally significant artifacts from their courtship like coffee mugs from their alma maters, favorite books, or perhaps the ticket stubs from their first movie date. It’s all so incredibly sweet. Meanwhile, our happy photographer pockets an extra paycheck.

Once these essential pictures are in the can, a favorite must be chosen to use for another newly minted must have of modern WIC protocol…the Save the Date postcard, whereby all potential wedding guests must be given 6 months notice of the wedding, lest they inadvertently schedule a root canal on the blessed date. In this, the photographers are in league with the greeting card and high end stationary moguls along with the postal service, since now two mass mailings must be executed; the first to warn people not to schedule anything for July 12th, 2014 and a second to actually invite them. Why this couldn’t be combined somehow into one announcement/invitation like it had been done for, I don’t know, the past 4,000 years, is not for me to ask. I’m just the guy playing George Banks in this movie.

Happily, I am told that the engagement photos were a huge success and turned out beautifully. Another item has been checked off of the list, and the ball has been moved forward.

Making impressive progress here at Wedding Central.