Saturday, January 4, 2014

Saying YES to the Dress


I haven’t felt right for over a week now. Last Sunday started with pink eye and since then there have been a series of sore throaty/acky/cough-filled days and nights. I have been assured by my Nazi Doctor over at Patient First that I don’t have the FLU, more likely a lesser virus that I will have to muddle through with until it runs its course.

But yesterday afternoon delivered a highlight, a ray of sunshine into my otherwise dismal week. My daughter said “YES” to the dress.

Here’s how it happened. Since Pam and Kaitlin are both off this week, they thought it might be a perfect time to begin the great wedding dress hunt. I have secretly been dreading this from the day she announced her engagement. My two girls are gifted with talents and abilities that would fill pages of this blog if I were so inclined, however, they both share one excruciating flaw. They are both horribly indecisive, in matters of style and fashion, not always on the same page. Combine these two facts with the search for something as iconic and emotionally charged as a wedding dress, and, well…I was expecting a Bataan Death March style campaign drenched with tears and frustration. Needless to say, I stayed at home.

To be honest, that wasn’t the only reason I stayed home. I’m in no particular hurry to see my little girl trying on wedding dresses. There. I said it. I don’t think that this is something I should have a say in. I’m happy to pay for the thing, but I would rather wait until the big day to see her wearing it.

Pam sent me the first text at 4:04, “Dress 1 has been tried on. There were tears.”

Yeah, no kidding! Imagine that? Crying the first time you see the girl who just three days ago you were teaching how to field grounders wearing a wedding dress? Who could have seen THAT coming? No Thanks. I was very glad to be in my recliner reading the new Deen Koontz novel.

Text number 2, “Dress number two turned out to be the one Kaitlyn Burton wore in her wedding.”

Pam seemed giddy, almost playful. Things seemed to be going well.

Text number 3, “We may have found THE ONE!”

I looked at my watch. It was 5:47. Fifteen minutes later I’m hit with three texts in rapid fire succession,

“She’s trying a couple more on, but she found one that is gorgeous and fits well!


Oh dear. Now there is a second one that’s also beautiful.

Decisions, decisions!”

 Thirty minutes pass. It’s now 6:30 and I’ve heard nothing. In my mind I’m imagining the worst. Both of them discover that they are at odds over which beautiful dress is in fact, THE ONE. Pam tells Kaitlin that the only thing that matters is what SHE thinks, to which Kaitlin replies that she wants Mom to like it just as much as she does. Then the both of them collapse into silent indecision. I decide to send a text of my own.

“What’s the dinner plan?”

Twenty minutes pass without a response. Virus or no, I’m starving. I glance at my watch. 7:02. Finally, a response from Pam,

“We have no plan.”

Seriously?? That’s all I get? They are either hopelessly depressed by the whole experience, or Pam is messing with me. Then this headliner at 7:16…

“We said  YES TO THE DRESS, and within budget!”

The phone rings and its Kaitlin’s happy voice, “I found a dress Daddy!!”

Twenty five minutes later I meet them at Glory Days. They walk in together smiling from ear to ear. After ordering the fabulous soft pretzels with crab dip appetizer, Kaitlin insists on showing me a picture. “What do you think?” she asks.

She hands me her new Apple 5s cell phone and there she is, standing in front of a bank of mirrors, her curly hair tied up with a thing, a veil draping down behind her. It’s a wedding dress with stuff on it. I have no idea what the proper term for all of this stuff is and I never intend to find out. All I know was that she looked stunning, even on the 4 inch screen of a smart phone. I was determined to maintain my composure and I did. I said something like, “Wow, sweetie. It’s beautiful. It has lots of stuff on it.” when what I really wanted to say was, “How is it possible that you grew up so fast into such an incredible woman?” And, where in God’s name is my cheese burger? Anything to change the subject.

So, the dress has been bought, an important item crossed off the wedding To-Do list. It took only one 4 hour trip to David’s Bridal, with only tears of joy spilled. We may just get through this.