Yesterday, while eating my lunch, I brought up
Facebook on my cell phone to discover that my kids had become embroiled in two
of the most contentious debates in all of Christendom, Phil Robertson’s
comments on homosexuality, and homeschooling. In both instances the wounds were
self inflicted. Kaitlin had offered a dissenting opinion to a pro-homeschooling
screed posted by a friend, while Patrick had voluntarily weighed in on the Duck
Dynasty controversy by offering his own take on the subject. Neither of their
opinions are the kind that will get them invited to the Focus on the Family Christmas
party.
First, a disclaimer. I didn’t agree with everything
either of them wrote. I registered my disagreements with my son behind the
private message screen where only he, I and the NSA could see. Having said
that, seldom have I felt more proud as a parent than yesterday, reading the
words of my children. Pam and I have somehow managed to raise and unleash upon the
world two critical thinkers, unafraid to voice a deeply held opinion, even if
that opinion might not be universally admired. Their arguments were
intelligent, well reasoned, and free of accusation or venom, and most
gratifying to me, well written!
As a parent, it’s asking way too much to have your
children agree with you about everything. The best we can do is give them the
tools that help them come to their own conclusions. We hope that when the dust
of their education settles, they will embrace their faith, and become fully
functioning, caring human beings who will become a blessing to others and make
a difference in this world.
It is true that we not only taught them how to think, but on many occasions, what to think. I make no apologies for such
indoctrination. There comes a time in life, for example, when kids must know
without doubt or nuance that placing their hand on a hot stove is for all of
eternity a terrible idea. For me, an equally important truth is the reality of
God, the fact of his Son, and the existence of transcendent truth. These
lessons are more difficult to teach, and there are no guarantees that they will
learn. Each one of us has to come to these beliefs ourselves through personal
discovery. As a parent, you can lead them to water, but you can’t make them
drink. So, you expose them to spiritual things, you try to live out an example
of a Godly life the best you can, then you turn them loose into the world and
hope for the best.
If you’re lucky, you even learn a few things about transcendent
truth from your kids. After all, learning and personal growth didn’t stop when
I graduated from college. I have learned a few things from them about
tolerance, forbearance, and letting go of a few knuckleheaded ideas. They have
learned on their own that some of the eternally true things I warned them about
back in middle school are in fact eternally true.
Having children to raise is a beautiful thing, never
more beautiful than when you pull up Facebook on your cell phone and discover
that your little ones are now…adults!
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