Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Letting Off Some Steam

Dear Congressperson _________________,


As a law-abiding, tax-paying citizen of your district here in _____________, I have watched events unfolding in Washington with a mixture of disgust and resignation, disgust because of your gross incompetence, resignation because ultimately, there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it because your district has been gerrymandered beyond my reach. So your position and privilege has become your own personal fiefdom complete with posh offices, large staff and a generous retirement package, all courtesy of the tax-payer…but that’s a subject for another day.

The purpose of this letter is merely therapeutic. You see, we law-abiding, tax-paying citizens can only take so much. After a while, we have to let off some steam, and right now, I’m plenty steamed. Today’s New York Times informs me that although the 3000 page Affordable Care Act that you passed without reading is putting people like me through the ringer trying to navigate its ridiculously useless website, you and your 535 colleagues are sailing right through the enrolment process. That’s because you guys have a special “dedicated congressional insurance plan assistance line” to call. Not only that, when deciding which plan to choose, you and your loyal staff get the benefit of “in-person support sessions” conducted at your offices by the local exchanges and four separate insurance companies. If you’re still confused after all this one on one attention, you can always log on to a “special Blue Cross-Blue Shield website for members of congress only along with a handy exclusive toll-free number dedicated to your needs.” But this isn’t even the best part. While we, the great unwashed, have to make do with four plans, you and your buddies get to pick from a dizzying array of over 112 gold options.

Back a couple of years ago when you were trying to rally support for this law, you made a speech at the mall over in ____________ville, where you said that you would be the first in line when it came to signing up for ObamaCare, so thrilled were you to have access to such great insurance. You made a point of assuring us that if this law was good enough for the American people it should be good enough for members of Congress. But that wasn’t exactly true, was it Congressperson _____________? We might all be created equal, but the truth is that members of Congress are always just a bit more equal than the rest of us, isn’t that true Congressperson__________________?

You and your friends disgust me. It’s not your political views, not your party affiliation, not even your ideology. It’s your clueless, tone-deaf sense of entitlement, your infuriating man/woman-of-the-people shtick, your arrogant condescension, that makes me want to throw up every time I see your pie-hole flapping on my television.

Admittedly, that last paragraph was a little over the top with the vitriol but that’s the letting off steam part I referred to earlier. I don’t expect or desire a response from you or your well-staffed office, and I certainly don’t expect this letter to do any good whatsoever in improving the performance of your duties, but I’ve got to tell you…I feel much better already.