Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Finally, Some Good Spying


It’s 6:08 am and I’m sitting in my study drinking a cup of coffee and nibbling on my nutritious breakfast of two lemon-Oreo cookies. That’s right, there is such a thing and if you haven’t tried them, you should. I browse through the overnight news. It is dependably upsetting but often hilariously funny, sometimes at the same time. Like this one story I stumbled upon where according to Twitter, there is a rather large group of mostly young, white and oddly blonde women who think it’s a crying shame that New England Patriot tight end Aaron Hernandez has to go to prison because, he is “so very hot!!” Apparently, the alleged murder charge does nothing to dampen feminine enthusiasm for his tight end. Lovely.

While I slept, the leaders of France and Germany continued to whine, moan and complain about the revelation that the United States has been spying on them, bugging their offices etc. I could break out a Shakespeare quote and go all “methinks they do protest too much”, but that’s probably the most overquoted passage the Bard ever wrote. Suffice it to say that I make no apologies for THIS type of spying, after all, this is the only type of spying that my government should ever be doing in the first place, and frankly, I’m shocked that we still have the balls to do it! I thought with this “we are the world” bunch running Washington at the moment that good old fashioned espionage would have been a thing of the past. I’m impressed, Mr. President.

The most hilarious reaction has been from the German Chancellor Angela Merkel. She confessed SHOCK that the United States would be spying on such a stalwart friend and ally. She went on to say that relationships between allies must be based first and last upon trust, and that this alleged bugging violated said trust in the most egregious way.

Cry me a river, Angie.

If there is anyone in my readership who believes that the nations of the European Union are our stalwart friends, then I have a couple dozen baseballs signed by Mickey Mantle  himself up in my attic that I bet you’d be interested in. Here’s a newsflash for all of you who might be upset by the news that we routinely spy on our allies. My guess is, there isn’t an office of anyone in Washington DC who really matters that isn’t already bugged by France, Germany, even Great Britain. Well… maybe not France ( much too decadent to bother with self preservation ). All of this screaming is for domestic consumption only. They have been embarrassed by Mr. Snowden’s revelations and are trying to save face, and I find it hilarious to watch. Thanks, Ed!

So, well done CIA. It’s about time this country got on with the business of protecting our own interest in dealings with our fickle European “allies”. More of this kind of spying, and less spying on US, please.