Saturday, September 15, 2012

If I Were Secretary of State....

Going for an MRI on my shoulder this morning. That's right, on a Saturday morning. Who ever heard of having medical procedures on the weekend? Aren't the weekends supposed to be MRI-free? Stupid shoulder. Stupid rotator cuff tear. Psshhtt...and get this, it's my left shoulder. How does a right-hander tear his left rotator cuff? I've done no heavy lifting, I've not been overworked by my manager by being asked to throw 130 pitches in two consecutive starts. "So, Doc, how could this have happened", I asked my doctor incredulously. "Doug, you're 54 and active. Normal wear and tear my friend. If you were a fat slob who sat around on the sofa eating cheese-puffs all day this would never have happened."  I stared blankly at him, at a loss for words. Then he offered this, " Yeah, I know. Pretty ironic, huh?"

After my "procedure", I intend to give my dog a rigorous bath, maybe go for a run, do a little yard work. Then after lunch, I'll settle in front of the TV and watch the unraveling of United States power and prestige in the Middle East. The spectacle will be bitter sweet. On the one hand, no patriotic American can possibly enjoy seeing their flag and name literally dragged ablaze through the streets. And yet if the ultimate end of this results in America withdrawing all financial aid and military encumbrances from that hell-hole, we will be much better for it. If the Arab world thinks that America is their problem, let them learn of the wonders and benefits of Soviet or Chinese hegemony. I'm sure the Arab street will be thrilled with the atheistic inclinations of their new sugar daddies. Personally I can't think of a greater example of cosmic justice than to have the middle east overrun with communist party apparatchiks. Let them deal with the honor/shame culture oddities, the 2000 year old hatreds. Let them pour billions of their national treasures down the sink hole of grievance that is the Middle East.

But Doug, you say, what about Israel? OK, what about them? They are an independent nation that has proven to be more than capable of defending themselves against their barbarian neighbors. We can still give them military hardware. They are an ally after all. But the days of us being led around by the nose by every wind of hatred that blows through Jerusalem are and should be over. But Doug, what about the oil? We've got plenty of oil right here and it's high time we developed it. Let's once and for all remove the only weapon the Arab world has ever had against the west. Let them sell their oil to the Chinese and learn to run and maintain their refineries by themselves. If we need to import some oil, I prefer the Canadians since they have no history of flying planes into our buildings. Plus, they gave the world those awesome round slabs of bacon. Why not buy oil from neighbors like that?

I will now take a shower and head over to St. Marys, and brace myself for a deluge of responses to this blog pointing out how any nation that isn't a friend of Israel is forever doomed by God.