Sunday, July 29, 2012

One Month Ago Today

One month ago today, my Mom passed away. In some ways, the time has flown by, but in other ways it seems like an eternity. The frantic atmosphere of the first few days has been replaced by a less emotional, more practical phase. We have made some adjustments, had time to process things. We are calmer now. Plans for Dad's care have progressed and seem less daunting. Still, there are hours in the day, days in the week, when the pain of the loss is still fresh. There are times when the thought enters your mind that you should call her to ask about some such thing, or to tell her about something that happened with the kids. Then, you catch yourself, the realization that she isn't here to take that call brings a brief wave of incredible sadness. But then you shake it off and get about your day, taking comfort in the hope of eternal life.

People have stopped bringing food, the cards have slowed to a trickle, and I am glad. Each card serves to freshen up my grief. I would rather not be constantly reminded. But oddly, the late arriving cards have been the most eloquent. Most have been hand-written and have benefited from the passage of time, and the power of reflection. Therein lies a lesson for the future. When a dear friend suffers a loss, I will wait a while before writing a note.

So, today, on the first month anniversary of her passing, I will be teaching in Rush Hour. My topic?...The Seven Deadly Sins...envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride, sloth,  and wrath...none of which applied to my Mom. Well.. except maybe wrath.... that time she told me never to stick my tongue out at her again, and I went into the bathroom , found a long comb and defiantly stuck it in my mouth and angrily pointed it in her direction. As I recall, she put on a wrath clinic, with the aid of a fly-swatter, on my bare legs. I never have used a comb since, clearly scarred for life.