Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Attention all Hokie Fans!! Read this before the big game tonight!!

Tonight, Virginia Tech once again plays in a nationally televised bowl game with a huge pay day against a famous football program, this time, Michigan. Those of us who live in Virginia but have not partaken of the Blacksburg Kool-Aid wonder why Tech keeps getting invited to play in these type games. The 2011 edition of the Hokies was no different than any of the others of recent years. They play a cupcake schedule in a cripple conference, beating up on Division 1-A teams and perennial losers like Duke and East Carolina. The only tough team on their schedule clobbers them by a combined score of 62-13 over two games …and yet…here they are about to cash a 15 million dollar check.

Frank Beamer is nothing if not a marketer of his program, so my hats’ off to his powers of persuasion, or his stash of incriminating photos that he’s been using to blackmail the NCAA all these years. Even the most unapologetic Tech fan is aware of his almost statistically impossible record of futility against top 5 teams. But few know just how ugly the losses have been. Here’s a random sample of some of the “squeakers” that Tech has endured:

40-7 loss against Clemson in 1988
41-14 loss against Florida State in 1988
43-23 loss against Miami in 1992
21-2 loss against Miami in 1993
46-29 loss against Florida State in 2000
27-7 loss against Miami in 2005
48-7 loss against LSU in 2007
40-12 loss against Stanford in 2011

In Beamer’s defense, Tech had been losing consistently against top 5 teams long before he showed up. Beamer’s record is only 1-19, but throw in his predecessors and it jumps to 1-27 or some such thing. Which begs the colossal question…why do Tech fans believe that they are an elite program? There is no answer. Tech fans will go on for hours about how they “own” Virginia football and the ACC. Which, is kind of like saying you’re the sexiest girl at the leper colony. I bring all this up simply to say this….
The Hokies sure better win this game tonight!! Everyone in America knows that you guys don’t deserve to even be in this game when Boise State had to settle for a 2 million dollar loser bowl somewhere in Idaho. And yes, Boise State plays a cupcake schedule too, but when they get their chances on the big stage ( Oklahoma, Georgia, and er..Virginia Tech ) they actually win! So, you guys better win tonight. This is Michigan, not some top 5 powerhouse. We aren’t talking Alabama or LSU or even Stanford. This is Michigan, from the Big Ten, a conference nearly as pathetic as the ACC. You HAVE to beat Michigan Hokie nation, if for no other reason than to be able to show your faces in polite company through the spring and summer until the big game against Austin Peay next fall.