Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Hanging By A Thread

My patience with and tolerance of the Republican party is being severely tested at the moment. In fact, its hanging by a thread. At a time when our financial viability as a nation itself is being threatened, at a time when we face terribly complex problems that involve vexing geo-political issues, the three names that dominate the presidential field for 2012 from the GOP are Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, and Donald Trump. Seriously.

Newt Gingrich, that petulant windbag from…uh..from…you know he’s been in Washington so long I’ve totally forgotten his home state. You remember Newt. The former Speaker of the House who shut down the government back in 1995 because he was pissed that Clinton made him sit in the back of air force one. The congressman who famously informed his ex-wife that he wanted a divorce while she was in a hospital room recovering from cancer surgery…THAT Newt Gingrich.

Sarah Palin, that sweet pretty woman with 16 kids who shoots caribou when not giving fiery speeches using words like “mama bear” and “lip-stick on a pig”. She’s the kind of woman who would make an awesome PTA president and there isn’t a woman alive who I would trust more as a car-pool driver for my kids. Honestly, she’s adorable. But I’m sorry, with her I get the feeling that she hasn’t read a real book probably since the Mark of the Lion series, and I’m being generously hopeful on that score. There is such a thing as gravitas after all. The Presidency requires and we should demand intellectual vigor, not simply the faculty lounge egg headedness variety of the current occupant, but rather the kind that comes from a lifetime of inquiry. Should a prospective president be expected to have thought out the implications of unrestrained federalism, or be able to demonstrate a competent understanding of the laws of supply and demand? You “betcha”. Being really good at Facebook isn’t exactly what I’m looking for at this point in history.

Donald freaking Trump. Yes, by all means, lets elect the star of a reality show and prove to the world once and for all that we are finished as a nation. Yes, at a time when the United States is teetering on the brink of insolvency, lets elect as president a man who has personally gone bankrupt not once but TWICE. Can you imagine what the Oval Office will look like after his interior decorators get finished with it? Where in the world will the tanning bed go, in the Lincoln bedroom? That poor presidential portrait painter is going to have a helluva time finding a true match for that hair color. “LIVE from the Oval Office….its Presidential Apprentice!!!” You’re fired.

Yep, hanging by a thread.

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