Dear Big Ten,
Just a note to thank you guys for always being so dependably pathetic in bowl games against our guys. In a world where so few things can be counted on, we really appreciate you guys always being there for us. The performance of Michigan State was particularly helpful for illustrating just how over matched you guys are this time of year...what with the 49-7 score and the 400 total yards advantage for Alabama..that was a nice touch! Oh ..and the way Michigan got man-handled by Miss. State..what was it..55-14??..CLASSIC.
Penn State put up a little better fight but it was epic the way they totally folded in the fourth quarter. Sure, Northwestern and Wisconsin lost too..but those games were competitive down to the wire. Against us, we can always count on a complete ass-whipping. So once again...THANKS for contributing to the legend that is the total dominance of Southern football.